Now that's what I like about an award show - two hours and we're out of there! I was all settled into my couch for at least another hour and a half, so I was shocked (yet delighted) when it ended at 10pm. "30 Rock" swept the categories again - not surprised, but it's such a fantastic show that it definitely deserves the recognition. Was anyone else as confused as I was when Sean Penn was giving his speech? "Thank you. Good evening, Comrades. That was for O'Reilley." Bill O'Reilley? Because then you go on to say all these wonderful things about gay rights and accepting others - neither of which seem to be anything Bill O'Reilley would support. But sure, I can see how the two of you would be buddies. Drinking, ranting, dirty talk to inanimate objects - like a cell phone or Madonna.
Meryl Streep's speech was unexpected - Well, at least she sure as hell wasn't expecting it as she was guzzling down wine all night chatting up the crowd in her pantsuit. I've never seen someone so drunk on stage! And I'm obviously including Courtney Love circa "The Roast of Pamela Anderson." It was great! I felt like I was watching one of my friend's normally poised mothers jump on stage to sing karaoke after only a "few sips of wine" at a wedding. Mmmhmm... Well, bravo, Meryl! You certainly were the entertainment of the night! But let us not forget the fashion...
Best Dressed:
Of course, the BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT AWARD goes to the magnificent Kate Winslet! This dress fits her like a glove, it's classy, and it's a gorgeous color that stands out against the red carpet. CONGRATS, GIRL!
Now this has a very grandiose air about it, which naturally makes me LOVE IT! And it's in my favorite color - major plus!
Taraji P. Henson looks lovely in white! But the back is the best part of this dress.
Laura Linney has never wowed me in the past with her fashion choices, but lately she has chosen beautiful colors and silhouettes that suit her so well. Love the one shoulder/coral combo!
Anne Hathaway made a wise choice this week with a light Grecian dress - rather than a heavy black flower and lace motif straight from hell. Very wise, girl. Also, I like the hair.
Worst Dressed:
CAUTION: Please avert your eyes from Skeletor!!!
I mean, eat. Your intricate tattoos are disappearing into your rib cage. Just because you are helping starving children in other countries, that doesn't mean you can't chew on a celery stick every once in a while. And nice navy bedsheet. Really? That's what you chose to wear to the SAGs. Like, "oh, I can't be bothered to even try to look good - because even when I don't try I'm still the most beautiful there." Um, no. You look like The Corpse Bride - after she died and roamed the world as a zombie. Let's pick up the pace for the Oscars, Angie. Or you'll have to answer to me!
Amy - Um, honey , I don't really know where to start. Why must you always choose these drab colors? You either wear nude, garnet, or plum. Live it up - let's get some flashy colors on you, girl! We all know pale is hard to work with, but girl, I haven't seen the sun in 3 years and still at least make an effort. And always remember to leave the bundle of grapes at home - not under your boobs.
U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi. That dress is ugly, yeah, yeah, it's ugly!
Not so bad from the front, right?
Wrong! That horrid corsage went all the way down the back and then vomited on her ass! Marisa - you know better, girl! And have you lost your mind? It's an awards show. People will see you! Put on some mascara and lipstick, for goodness sakes! Geez - I have so much to teach celebrities...Photos: AP Images