Monday, November 19, 2007

What Will YOU Do When the Shows Run Out?

As the WGA Strike continues, I'm beginning to wonder: What will Americans do to fill the time they usually spend in front of their televisions watching regularly scheduled programming? Take up knitting? Catch up on old episodes of "7th Heaven"? Finally learn to ride a unicycle?

We are nowhere near the end of the strike and reruns are upon us. While I seriously support the writers and their efforts, what is a pop culture junkie to do when the new episodes run out? My body is going to be so confused. Is it summer? Why am I seeing repeats of my favorite scripted dramas and comedies? Usually as I sit and wait patiently for 8pm to roll around, I watch rerun after rerun of "I Love New York 2". And I do, I really, really do love New York, which causes my parents so much shame. But I can only handle so much lip-smacking and inappropriate noises from New York aka Tiffany Pollard before I gleefully change the channel because a new episode of "The Office" or "How I Met Your Mother" is coming on.

Now do I have nothing to look forward to but a new episode of "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila"? The thought of having to consume more and more ridiculous antics of bisexuals competing for the love of a cocktail makes me nauseous. But this is what we will be reduced to, people. The only thing that will be left for us, my fellow Americans, is reality shows. It used to be that the thirty minutes of "My Name is Earl" was such a sweet release from the constant shoving of "reality" down our throats. Now all we have is reality? Someone please help us!

Producers, studios, major media powerhouses, I am begging of you on bended knee: Give the writers what they want! What is a couple of extra cents to you? You will still be living the posh life while the writers wait years for the residual checks from iTunes to actually hit their bank accounts. I am pleading with you for the millions of American men and women who so cherish those 23 precious new episodes a year. Don't make the little people suffer. I don't care what it takes, just make the deal already! Save the writers... Save the world!