Pop Guru's 2010 Oscar Fashion Review

Last night's Oscars were unpredictable, but nothing was as unpredictable as the dresses that came down the red carpet. One by one, the stars waltzed down the red carpet and with each dress that passed by the camera, a little part of me died inside. Welcome to the year of the neutral! Almost everyone was wearing some shade of nude/metallic/gold. Um, hello - a little pop of color is not going to kill you! Regardless of the pathetic display that was the red carpet last night, you still deserve my annual review. Without further ado, please to enjoy...Pop Guru's Annual Oscar Fashion Review!

Best Dressed

Disclaimer: I realize most of you will disagree with my choices, but please know that there wasn't much to choose from. These picks were as big of a stretch as one of Nicole Kidman's face lifts.

At first I was totally against this, seeing as it looks a little bit like she fashioned the Golden Girls tablecloth into a dress. But the more I look at the entire ensemble, the more I like it. Not her best choice ever, however, not terrible.


I have no idea why Cheryl Hines was at the Oscars, but girl looked great!


You know I am REALLY struggling if I have to choose Queen Latifah as Best Dressed. I blame Charlize for this. Shame on you, Charlize.


Paula Patton is pregnant, for goodness sakes, and she was still able to pick a fabulous dress! She's about to give birth on the red carpet yet she's capable of standing up straight. Take notes, Miley.


This one pains me most of all. I loathe Cameron Diaz and her aggressive need for attention (not that I know anything about that), but alas, she looked good last night. Hopefully, I'll never have to go against my morals like this again. Damn you for this, Charlize.

Worst Dressed

In honor of the Academy honoring ten nominees for Best Picture this year, Pop Guru has decided to follow suit and nominate ten people for Worst Dressed. Simply because there were just too many to narrow it down to only five. This could have been your chance to get on my good side, Miley. Better luck next year.

I just want to know what asshole told Zoe Saldana that it's ok to show up to the Oscars farting hydrangeas.

The pixie look, the goth dress, the knives and forks and whatever else bedazzlement. Obviously Carey Mulligan just wants to edge out Kristen Stewart as Queen of the Hipsters, but she's going to have to start showering a hell of a lot less to accomplish that.


You take four hundred coffee filters, dye them red, and get a Japanese origami artist to configure them into a dress - viola! Vera Farmiga now has the perfect dress to wear for the only Oscar nod she is ever going to get.


Mama always told me to stand up straight, but I never listened. Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned. I should have listened to you so I wouldn't look like a train wreck like Miley Cyrus.


Woman! What are you doing to me?! Faith Hill is one of the few Southern celebrities that I like, and then she turns up in one of Lisa Marie Presley's hand me downs? Absolute disgrace.


I get it that you are obsessed with Chanel, Diane Kruger, but this is taking it too far. If you paid me $10,000 to shred my goose down comforter and glue it into a dress, that is the only way I would be ok with this look.


This dress almost blends into Demi Moore's skin color. You know nude is too nude when I think you are actually naked until I see the mass of ruffles around your ass.


Is Charlize Theron updating Madonna's 80s cone bra look? Making a play on Princess Leia? Or is she just craving Cinnabon? Is this multiple choice or can I select all of the above?


If Patricia Fields took a shit on a sheet and called it fashion, Sarah Jessica Parker would still wear it and call it fabulous. And that's exactly what happened here, ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the sheet, and SJP just shat all over the red carpet.


Saddam Hussein was allowed out for the big event and Elvira was nice enough to go as his date.

Photos: Wireimage

OSCARS TONIGHT AT 8 ON ABC!

Hello, hello! Hope everyone is pumped about the Oscars tonight!! I know I am! I'm already watching the E! Preshow coverage. OMG - please stop grabbing your boobs, Debbie Matenopolous. Ugh, can't stand her. No wonder Barbara Walters kicked her off "The View." Anyhow, there's supposedly going to be a lot of suprises tonight - I sure hope so! I mean, not of the Chris Brown a la Grammys style, but you know something scandalous like a Brangelina-Aniston run in. Should be a fun night! Sidenote: Speaking of surprises, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are going to have another baby. Perhaps a sis for little Harlow.

Tonight's host is Hugh Jackman. Ol' Twinkle Toes is going to wow us with his singing and dancing, apparently trying to keep the entertainment as low budge as possible. Remember his musical CBS show "Viva Loughlin"? Yeah, nobody does since it was cancelled after one episode. I don't know if the world can handle any more of his musical stylings...

I gave some predictions after the nominations were announced, but just as a refresher:

Best Actor:
Richard Jenkins - The Visitor
Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

Showdown! The media is abuzz that this will be a head-to-head match between Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn. Rourke has been taking home all of the awards, including the Independent Spirit Award last night. He gave a bit of a rambling speech about his dog Loki that died last week and Eric Roberts, who he claims is one of the best actors around. If Eric Roberts is a fantastic actor, then Tila Tequila deserves to be noted for her amazing skills as an actress. Please. But we all know Mickey likes his "candy," which obviously leads to his rambling and fashion choices. The video is entertaining though - definitely take a look.

Sean Penn did a fantastic job in Milk. It really was a good film and he embodied Harvey Milk perfectly. He's always the media's Prince of Awards, so he may just take home the gold. It will be a fight to the finish between these two.

Best Actress:
Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - Changeling
Melissa Leo - Frozen River
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kate Winslet - The Reader

This could be a toss-up. Every one of these women have been voted to win by the media outlets, so it could be a shock who wins. Anne Hathaway is so young, so I think it would be great for her to be given time to continue to hone her skills. It's most likely going to come down to Kate Winslet and Meryl Streep. Kate did a phenomenal job in The Reader. I loved her in that movie and definitely think she should win. But damn, does that girl love to be naked! I've seen her naked more than I've seen myself. She did just say she's going to stop with all the nudity in her films, but we'll see if she can stand the feel of clothing for too long.

Best Supporting Actor:
Josh Brolin - Milk
Robert Downey Jr. - Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road

It seems like every category this year is unpredictable! This one will come down to Heath Ledger and Josh Brolin. Though Ledger is somewhat of a shoe-in, the media has been pushing for Brolin to win as of late. He did a great job playing the unhinged Dan White in the film, but the award could go to Ledger as people are wanting to honor him.

Best Supporting Actress:
Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler

I'm pretty certain this award will go to Penelope Cruz. Though I think she's terrible in most everything else, she was wonderful in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She really added the pizazz to the film. I feel like she always wears the same style dress in light pink, so let's hope she opts to add some pizazz to her ensemble tonight.

Best Picture:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

Ah, the moment you've all been waiting for... My choice is Slumdog Millionaire, but I will still be a happy camper if The Reader takes home the gold. I loved both films and think they are both worthy of the win. Slumdog was more heartwarming though and has swept all of the award shows so far. Milk stands a chance, but not so sure it will be able to beat these other two. Curious Case has the most nominations with thirteen so it's bound to win something, just not this category. Frost/Nixon was good, but the film lost a lot of the power that the live performance had. The pivotal part when Nixon admits his wrongdoing is more of a passing moment, while it packed much more of a punch in the play. Worth seeing, but not worth the gold.

We'll see who wins tonight when the show starts at 8pm on ABC! I can't wait! Time to go prepare my dish for the Oscar Party! I'm so pumped about tonight's festivities. I'm most excited about the glamourous dresses, and of course the chance to judge celebrities! Look for my fashion update tomorrow. Everyone enjoy the show tonight!! I'll be Twittering throughout so follow me @PopGuru!

SAG Fashion Awards

Now that's what I like about an award show - two hours and we're out of there! I was all settled into my couch for at least another hour and a half, so I was shocked (yet delighted) when it ended at 10pm. "30 Rock" swept the categories again - not surprised, but it's such a fantastic show that it definitely deserves the recognition. Was anyone else as confused as I was when Sean Penn was giving his speech? "Thank you. Good evening, Comrades. That was for O'Reilley." Bill O'Reilley? Because then you go on to say all these wonderful things about gay rights and accepting others - neither of which seem to be anything Bill O'Reilley would support. But sure, I can see how the two of you would be buddies. Drinking, ranting, dirty talk to inanimate objects - like a cell phone or Madonna.


Meryl Streep's speech was unexpected - Well, at least she sure as hell wasn't expecting it as she was guzzling down wine all night chatting up the crowd in her pantsuit. I've never seen someone so drunk on stage! And I'm obviously including Courtney Love circa "The Roast of Pamela Anderson." It was great! I felt like I was watching one of my friend's normally poised mothers jump on stage to sing karaoke after only a "few sips of wine" at a wedding. Mmmhmm... Well, bravo, Meryl! You certainly were the entertainment of the night! But let us not forget the fashion...

Best Dressed:

Of course, the BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT AWARD goes to the magnificent Kate Winslet! This dress fits her like a glove, it's classy, and it's a gorgeous color that stands out against the red carpet. CONGRATS, GIRL!

Now this has a very grandiose air about it, which naturally makes me LOVE IT! And it's in my favorite color - major plus!

Taraji P. Henson looks lovely in white! But the back is the best part of this dress.

Laura Linney has never wowed me in the past with her fashion choices, but lately she has chosen beautiful colors and silhouettes that suit her so well. Love the one shoulder/coral combo!

Anne Hathaway made a wise choice this week with a light Grecian dress - rather than a heavy black flower and lace motif straight from hell. Very wise, girl. Also, I like the hair.

Worst Dressed:

CAUTION: Please avert your eyes from Skeletor!!!

I mean, eat. Your intricate tattoos are disappearing into your rib cage. Just because you are helping starving children in other countries, that doesn't mean you can't chew on a celery stick every once in a while. And nice navy bedsheet. Really? That's what you chose to wear to the SAGs. Like, "oh, I can't be bothered to even try to look good - because even when I don't try I'm still the most beautiful there." Um, no. You look like The Corpse Bride - after she died and roamed the world as a zombie. Let's pick up the pace for the Oscars, Angie. Or you'll have to answer to me!

Amy - Um, honey , I don't really know where to start. Why must you always choose these drab colors? You either wear nude, garnet, or plum. Live it up - let's get some flashy colors on you, girl! We all know pale is hard to work with, but girl, I haven't seen the sun in 3 years and still at least make an effort. And always remember to leave the bundle of grapes at home - not under your boobs.

U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi. That dress is ugly, yeah, yeah, it's ugly!

Not so bad from the front, right?

Wrong! That horrid corsage went all the way down the back and then vomited on her ass! Marisa - you know better, girl! And have you lost your mind? It's an awards show. People will see you! Put on some mascara and lipstick, for goodness sakes! Geez - I have so much to teach celebrities...

Photos: AP Images