Pop Guru's 2010 Oscar Fashion Review

Last night's Oscars were unpredictable, but nothing was as unpredictable as the dresses that came down the red carpet. One by one, the stars waltzed down the red carpet and with each dress that passed by the camera, a little part of me died inside. Welcome to the year of the neutral! Almost everyone was wearing some shade of nude/metallic/gold. Um, hello - a little pop of color is not going to kill you! Regardless of the pathetic display that was the red carpet last night, you still deserve my annual review. Without further ado, please to enjoy...Pop Guru's Annual Oscar Fashion Review!

Best Dressed

Disclaimer: I realize most of you will disagree with my choices, but please know that there wasn't much to choose from. These picks were as big of a stretch as one of Nicole Kidman's face lifts.

At first I was totally against this, seeing as it looks a little bit like she fashioned the Golden Girls tablecloth into a dress. But the more I look at the entire ensemble, the more I like it. Not her best choice ever, however, not terrible.


I have no idea why Cheryl Hines was at the Oscars, but girl looked great!


You know I am REALLY struggling if I have to choose Queen Latifah as Best Dressed. I blame Charlize for this. Shame on you, Charlize.


Paula Patton is pregnant, for goodness sakes, and she was still able to pick a fabulous dress! She's about to give birth on the red carpet yet she's capable of standing up straight. Take notes, Miley.


This one pains me most of all. I loathe Cameron Diaz and her aggressive need for attention (not that I know anything about that), but alas, she looked good last night. Hopefully, I'll never have to go against my morals like this again. Damn you for this, Charlize.

Worst Dressed

In honor of the Academy honoring ten nominees for Best Picture this year, Pop Guru has decided to follow suit and nominate ten people for Worst Dressed. Simply because there were just too many to narrow it down to only five. This could have been your chance to get on my good side, Miley. Better luck next year.

I just want to know what asshole told Zoe Saldana that it's ok to show up to the Oscars farting hydrangeas.

The pixie look, the goth dress, the knives and forks and whatever else bedazzlement. Obviously Carey Mulligan just wants to edge out Kristen Stewart as Queen of the Hipsters, but she's going to have to start showering a hell of a lot less to accomplish that.


You take four hundred coffee filters, dye them red, and get a Japanese origami artist to configure them into a dress - viola! Vera Farmiga now has the perfect dress to wear for the only Oscar nod she is ever going to get.


Mama always told me to stand up straight, but I never listened. Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned. I should have listened to you so I wouldn't look like a train wreck like Miley Cyrus.


Woman! What are you doing to me?! Faith Hill is one of the few Southern celebrities that I like, and then she turns up in one of Lisa Marie Presley's hand me downs? Absolute disgrace.


I get it that you are obsessed with Chanel, Diane Kruger, but this is taking it too far. If you paid me $10,000 to shred my goose down comforter and glue it into a dress, that is the only way I would be ok with this look.


This dress almost blends into Demi Moore's skin color. You know nude is too nude when I think you are actually naked until I see the mass of ruffles around your ass.


Is Charlize Theron updating Madonna's 80s cone bra look? Making a play on Princess Leia? Or is she just craving Cinnabon? Is this multiple choice or can I select all of the above?


If Patricia Fields took a shit on a sheet and called it fashion, Sarah Jessica Parker would still wear it and call it fabulous. And that's exactly what happened here, ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the sheet, and SJP just shat all over the red carpet.


Saddam Hussein was allowed out for the big event and Elvira was nice enough to go as his date.

Photos: Wireimage

2009 Pop Guru Golden Globe Fashion Awards!

Last night's Golden Globes show was full of surprises! Congratulations to Kate Winslet on her dual win!!! Her acceptance speech was wonderful when she won for Revolutionary Road. New favorite word: "Gather!" She is just the most genuine lady in Hollywood and deserves to actually take home an award for once. Also, so ecstatic that Slumdog Millionaire won! They definitely deserved Best Motion Picture and I urge you all to go see it. It might not be in every town now, but I'm betting it will be getting a much wider release this weekend.

I was a little shocked that Anna Paquin won for Best Actress in a TV Series - Drama, however, I'm a fan of the show so I was ok with the decision. I was happy Mad Men didn't sweep the show like I had expected! Not that I don't like Mad Men, it's just not fun when the same show wins every award. Though bravo to 30 Rock for their three wins - Best Comedy, Tina Fey, and Alec Baldwin! I shed a few tears when Neal Patrick Harris lost Best Supporting Actor for How I Met Your Mother. Barney Stinson is a legendary man of honor and should have taken home the gold. Robbed, robbed I tell you! However, for your viewing pleasure, I have provided the funniest sketch from NPH's stint on SNL last weekend - Orchestral Doogie Howser.

Now on to my Fashion Awards. I found my jaw hitting the table when I saw most of the horrendous outfits - not to forget that hair - coming down the red carpet. I know we are in a recession, but damn - don't skip out on mirrors!

Best Dressed Awards:

Laura Linney positively glowed in this yellow dress that matched her hair, and her award! She looked like she loved the dress and was, most importantly, comfortable.

OK, she could have taken a second to brush her hair, but I still loved this pink dress on Cameron Diaz.

Eva Longoria Parker was one of the few that dared to wear a bright color and she pulled it off magnificently!

I loved the neutral color Elizabeth Banks utilized with both her dress and her makeup.

Kate Winslet was elegant in her classic black gown - and I loved her lipstick! I'll be reading all the magazines to find out exactly what kind of lip color she used. She's just fab.

Worst Dressed Awards:
Too many to count. Stylists must have cut back on their cocaine usage due to the economy and opted for huffing glue instead judging by these choices. Here are just a few of my faves...

My favorite quote of the night what my friend Chris said when Renee Zellweger walked on stage: "What was Sharon Stone thinking?!" She looked ridonkulous with her peek-a-boo top and rat's nest hair. She really never tries to get back on my good side. Your loss, Renee.

Horrendous dress, Morticia Adams. The drab lipstick and slick-back do add to the harshness of the overall look.

When Emma Thompson asked Sally Hawkins if she needed help, I wasn't sure if it was with her speech or with her dinner. She's terribly skinny - eat something, girl!

Two words: HOT MESS. Head-to-toe.

A blue animal print dress is never complete without a giant flower. Train wreck.

Not a fan of this look - Betty Boop with a side of S&M.

And I saved the absolute BEST for last...

Glenn Close in her Asian pantsuit getup. Obviously she's in early stages of dementia.

Don't forget about her twin, Tony Shalhoub! So cute that they dressed alike.

Worst Hair Awards:

In honor of the travesty that was the red carpet last night, I decided to add a new category to the mix...

Everyone gasped in horror when Drew Barrymore stepped onto the red carpet last night. Remember the tragic green dress sans bra incident? I don't know which was worse... And why couldn't Jessica Lange and Drew detach from each other the entire night? I know you play mother and daughter in Grey Gardens, but that's no excuse for the creepy hand-holding. Sweet shades, Jess.

Warning: this is what happens if you stick a fork in a toaster.

Brigitte Nielsen looks great for forty-five.

The Bride of Chuckie's frazzled ponytail really added the soft touch that this loud dress needed. I would have given her a hairnet if she sat at my table.

Oh, she's just being Miley. Next time the presenter announces your name, your publicist might be a bit happier if you politely smiled like a lady, not stuck out your tongue. I'm so over this long extension look - when it becomes a staple in Tyra's wardrobe, you know that shit is tired. And please look at Mama Cyrus in the background - she and Miley should have switched dresses.

Don't worry - I didn't forget Ashton Kutcher's fu manchu! Winner of Worst Hair of the Night!

Beautiful Men Awards:
A little something extra for the ladies, or the men. So many beautiful men were in attendance last night that I thought I'd give you one final look at just a few...

Wonder from Down Under - Simon Baker

Jon Hamm and his girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt

Gerard Butler

Zachary Quinto

My favorite, Aaron Eckhart

Hahaha J/K - couldn't resist throwing Mickey Rourke into the mix!

Photos: AP Images

Academy Awards Fashion Coverage

It's so late and I'm oh so tired, so sorry to make this brief. But I didn't want to disappoint you and leave you hanging without knowing what I thought about last night's fashion. So here goes...

Worst Dressed:

Cate Blanchett - I'm probably going to get torn apart for this, but this is a hideous dress. She looks like a giant eggplant - and no, I'm not making fun of the fact that she is knocked up. Pregnant or not, this dress would still get my vote for worst dressed.


Penelope Cruz - It's no secret that I despise Penelope. How long have you been in America? It's about time to learn a little English. And how many times can she wear this same silhouette? Every damn time she wears a strapless dress with some sort of feather assortment. Get a new stylist and a speech coach.


Nicole Kidman - The Ice Princess stayed true to her nickname by wearing every diamond that ever existed with this dress. She could have down-played that just a smidge. And when she went to present, the necklace was drapped around her left breast. Was that on purpose, Nicole? You were just trying to show off your new boob, weren't you?


Anne Hathaway - I mean, leave the garden at home. Train wreck upon her shoulder.


Daniel Day-Lewis - Lose the earrings, Captain Jack Sparrow.



Best Dressed:

Cameron Diaz - As much as I hate to admit because I loathe Cameron with a passion, I actually like this ensemble. I can feel my dignity being stripped away by the second.


Marion Cotillard - There have been mixed reviews of this dress. Some people say she looked like a fish. But I really liked it! It fit her perfectly and if I could squeeze my ass into that dress, I would have worn it, too.


Katherine Heigl - Love the dress, hate the hair. Did Ken Paves get a hold of her? Really girl - how about drink the juice, Shelby, because that hair looks like it came straight out of Steel Magnolias. But awesome dress!


Heidi Klum - This dress is fabulous! Heidi rocked it.


Keri Russell - Absolutely love it!!!!! I'll be taking this picture next time I get my hair done to get this cute do. I love this girl. Love the dress. Love the hair. Love the jewels. She gets the ultimate best dressed award!


And now for my special awards...

What the F are you doing at the Oscars? Award:

Miley Cyrus - She annoys the crap out of me. Why were you at the Oscars? Victoria Beckham may as well have shown up if you were there. Paula Abdul - sure, come on down. We're so glad you could make it, Raven Symone. Why don't you just send out an invite to every asshole in Hollywood? Geez, I can't wait until she starts drinking.


Most Awkward and Inappropriate Moment Award:
Who else could this go to but Ryan Seacrest? I didn't see Maria Menounos anywhere so she must have sent her questions to Seacrest in advance. When he asked Jessica Alba if she was going to breastfeed her baby, Dick Clark rolled over in his grave. Wait, I think he is still alive. Regardless, he at least vomited over the tragic reality that his legacy is being shit on by Seacrest.

Photos: People.com