Pop Guru's 2010 Oscar Fashion Review

Last night's Oscars were unpredictable, but nothing was as unpredictable as the dresses that came down the red carpet. One by one, the stars waltzed down the red carpet and with each dress that passed by the camera, a little part of me died inside. Welcome to the year of the neutral! Almost everyone was wearing some shade of nude/metallic/gold. Um, hello - a little pop of color is not going to kill you! Regardless of the pathetic display that was the red carpet last night, you still deserve my annual review. Without further ado, please to enjoy...Pop Guru's Annual Oscar Fashion Review!

Best Dressed

Disclaimer: I realize most of you will disagree with my choices, but please know that there wasn't much to choose from. These picks were as big of a stretch as one of Nicole Kidman's face lifts.

At first I was totally against this, seeing as it looks a little bit like she fashioned the Golden Girls tablecloth into a dress. But the more I look at the entire ensemble, the more I like it. Not her best choice ever, however, not terrible.


I have no idea why Cheryl Hines was at the Oscars, but girl looked great!


You know I am REALLY struggling if I have to choose Queen Latifah as Best Dressed. I blame Charlize for this. Shame on you, Charlize.


Paula Patton is pregnant, for goodness sakes, and she was still able to pick a fabulous dress! She's about to give birth on the red carpet yet she's capable of standing up straight. Take notes, Miley.


This one pains me most of all. I loathe Cameron Diaz and her aggressive need for attention (not that I know anything about that), but alas, she looked good last night. Hopefully, I'll never have to go against my morals like this again. Damn you for this, Charlize.

Worst Dressed

In honor of the Academy honoring ten nominees for Best Picture this year, Pop Guru has decided to follow suit and nominate ten people for Worst Dressed. Simply because there were just too many to narrow it down to only five. This could have been your chance to get on my good side, Miley. Better luck next year.

I just want to know what asshole told Zoe Saldana that it's ok to show up to the Oscars farting hydrangeas.

The pixie look, the goth dress, the knives and forks and whatever else bedazzlement. Obviously Carey Mulligan just wants to edge out Kristen Stewart as Queen of the Hipsters, but she's going to have to start showering a hell of a lot less to accomplish that.


You take four hundred coffee filters, dye them red, and get a Japanese origami artist to configure them into a dress - viola! Vera Farmiga now has the perfect dress to wear for the only Oscar nod she is ever going to get.


Mama always told me to stand up straight, but I never listened. Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned. I should have listened to you so I wouldn't look like a train wreck like Miley Cyrus.


Woman! What are you doing to me?! Faith Hill is one of the few Southern celebrities that I like, and then she turns up in one of Lisa Marie Presley's hand me downs? Absolute disgrace.


I get it that you are obsessed with Chanel, Diane Kruger, but this is taking it too far. If you paid me $10,000 to shred my goose down comforter and glue it into a dress, that is the only way I would be ok with this look.


This dress almost blends into Demi Moore's skin color. You know nude is too nude when I think you are actually naked until I see the mass of ruffles around your ass.


Is Charlize Theron updating Madonna's 80s cone bra look? Making a play on Princess Leia? Or is she just craving Cinnabon? Is this multiple choice or can I select all of the above?


If Patricia Fields took a shit on a sheet and called it fashion, Sarah Jessica Parker would still wear it and call it fabulous. And that's exactly what happened here, ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the sheet, and SJP just shat all over the red carpet.


Saddam Hussein was allowed out for the big event and Elvira was nice enough to go as his date.

Photos: Wireimage

Pop Guru's Annual Oscar Fashion Review!

Well, the beauty of borrowing internet is that it's unpredictable - I couldn't post my fashion review last night because my internet was out.  Guess I should pay for it!  What a fab show on Sunday!  Hugh Jackman, in all his girlish glory, actually did a pretty good job as the host.  I really liked the musical numbers, and what would any award show be without Beyonce forcibly thrusting herself into the spotlight.  The Oscars have nothing to do with you, you egotistical maniac!   You and Mama Tina need to realize the Dreamgirls moment has passed and finally accept the fact that Jennifer Hudson aka "American Idol" has an Oscar and you never will!  Beyonce is one unnecessary parade away from being Tyra Banks.

Although the show was ridiculously long, I loved the way past Oscar winners came out to introduce each nominee in the main categories.  Ben Stiller's impersonation of Joaquin Phoenix was hysterical and finally convinced me it's all a hoax.  My favorite moment by far was when Kate Winslet yelled out, "Dad, whistle or something so then I'll know where you are!"  So cute, and I'm really so happy for her that she was finally given the award she deserved.  Although, not so happy she chose such a matronly dress and hairdo.  Just cause you got the golden statue doesn't mean you need to dress like a Golden Girl!

I know I'm not the only one who thought it was cold hearted that they showed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie during Jennifer Aniston's moment on stage. It was expected but I thought The Oscars might be better than that - boy, was I wrong! That was just so tacky. I absolutely loved Jennifer's hair, although it was "Hills" hair and I'll just have to come to terms with my support of that. Oh, who am I kidding?! I sport a ginormous Lauren Conrad Mark by Avon ring!

Now on to the fashion... Wasn't much to look at this year!  Most of it was humdrum or flat out ugly.  I'm talking about you, Miley.  I'm not sure if the stars are pulling a Nicolette Sheridan and being their own stylists because of the recession, but whatever the reason, they need a fashion bailout plan FAST!

Best Dressed:

Though Tina Fey didn't walk the red carpet, she was one of the most stunning of the night!  This dress fit her like a glove and it was just the right amount of cleavage, not overboard like she was at the Golden Globes!

Diane Lane hardly looked a day over 40! This really doesn't do her justice because she glowed on TV!

Taraji P. Henson was so cute and grateful to even be at The Oscars, but she really pulled off a classic red carpet look.  I loved her hair!  The small red handbag added just the right pop of color to the crisp white dress.

Ugh, as much as I hate to say nice things about Skeletor, I liked this ensemble.  Classic black dress with a grandiose flair by pairing it with sparkling green earrings.  I thought Debbie Matenopolus was going to hurl herself from the scaffolding upon Angelina Jolie when she arrived.  Debbie actually forgot she was on TV and started screeching "ANGIE!!!" and jumping up and down.  Like a real professional.  Debbie was having a major sugar rush from the one Skittle she had eaten that day, so her hysteria when she saw her Anorexia Idol was completely understandable.

By far the best and most fabulous of the night!  Natalie Portman dared to wear a flashy color, yet didn't overdo it a la Heidi Klum and opted for minimal jewelry.  Sophisticated yet bold - ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!

Worst Dressed:

Let ze Heidi Klum drape zeself in a red satin sheet that corresponds with ze gazillion Diet Coke Heart Healthy commercials that aired during ze telecast - no one will ever be ze wiser to ze subliminal messaging!  Oh Zack Morris, how you have taught me so much in ze ways of wiling women!  Auf wiedersehen!

Why must such a gorgeous girl pick such a terrible dress!  Freida Pinto has chosen gorgeous dresses all season long, and now she chooses this wretched thing with the mono sleeve?  Ew.  I have never been a fan of the one sleeve look - sleeves are meant to come with a partner or not at all!

Aside from looking like a rock opera costume gone wrong, Marion Cotillard's dress can't seem to decide if it wants to be short or long.  It cuts off mid-thigh, then decides to vomit out a mountain of tulle.  

Um, no.  Vanessa Hudgens looks like a teen Elvira.  Why must Disney Teens invade my award shows?  Doesn't she have a Nickelodeon's Kid Choice Awards she should be at right now?

Miley Cyrus = Hot Mess.  I don't even know what this is.  I feel as if it is something that might come from the sea, some kind of crackwhore mermaid emerging from the water to post YouTube videos and slowly destroy humanity.

This picture proves we should never let Whoopi Goldberg out of her cage.

Sarah Jessica Parker aka Wedding Barbie came out to play.

So did her boobs.

Be careful, Zac Efron.  We've watched a young hunk stop washing his hair and lose his charming good looks once before.  It can be a gradual decent into the pits of Bonaduce, but it can happen to you...

Just ask Mickey Rourke.

Photos: AP Images

Matthew Broderick - Minus a Bracelet

Reports have been circulating all summer that Matthew Broderick had quite the affair with a 25 year old youth counselor while Sarah Jessica Parker was filming Sex and the City: The Movie. Apparently he met the redheaded mistress in a Manhattan bar and began a four-month long relationship with the woman, who nicknamed him "Matty Cakes" - gag. Sources say MB and SJP are trying to work it out for little James Wilkie. The two have been seen wearing white unity bracelets as part of their efforts to fix their marriage.

However, Pop Guru and a friend went for a brunch on this lovely sunny Sunday and Matthew happened to walk by after a trip to the local Citarella. Matthew was most definitely NOT wearing his white unity bracelet... Hmmmm... What does this mean? Are SJP and MB no longer trying to make it work? Is SJP out of town and that gives him an excuse to take off the dumb bracelet? Or does he simply just not care? I'm just baffled that someone would find him sexually irresistible enough to actually commit adultery with him. SJP's basically paying the bills with SatC and her stinky perfumes, so why would Matthew try to screw over his meal ticket? Shame, shame. What happened to you, Ferris Bueller?

Also spotted this weekend, Natalie Portman and Lauren Hutton dining at Bar Pitti (at separate times). Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou walked around in the West Village with little Aoki Lee on Friday. Debbie Matenopoulos ate at Da Silvano with friends on Saturday. Seth Meyers looking like he had just rolled out of bed strolling down 7th Avenue.

Photo: Splash

Nightmare in the City

In honor of this spooktacular day, I decided to share some terrifying pictures I found today. "Sex and the City" has been filming a wedding scene (it may be a dream sequence), but I have never seen something so horrifying in my life! That wedding dress is horrid! Not to mention the added effect of a turquoise feather. And if anybody made me wear one of those bridesmaid dresses, I would gladly decline my spot next to the bride at the altar. Glad to see Carrie is being cost-conscious for once and having her reception at Burger King. Enjoy! Or should I say, "View with caution?"


















Photos: WireImage

Stalkarazzi: "Sex and the City" Style

I caught the ladies of "Sex and the City" filming a scene for their upcoming movie in front of Christie's Auction House today. I have no idea what the content of the scene is, except Samantha was not in a walking scene with the other three but she was on set. I tried to take some pictures in the two minutes I was there, but some PAs were manhandling us and forcing us to walk away which is why my pictures are blurry. Somehow I only got a good shot of Miranda, and she's the last one I wanted a picture of! I will try again tomorrow if they are back at Christie's. Enjoy!

Who would have thought money (or a fake illness) could get you out of trouble?

During the time I've been slacking off, Paris Hilton has gone to jail, faked an illness to get out of jail, and is now going back to court to possibly return to jail. And I thought I had a busy week! Paris turned herself in on Sunday evening in a way only Paris could...going to jail straight from the MTV Movie Awards. But she didn't forget her swag bags!!

TMZ reported, "Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton's mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head." I wish I could get out of things just by telling people the weird issues I have in my head. I'd claim mental instability any day to get out of manual labor. Paris, always the lady, politely thanked "the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes." So...Paris was put on house arrest and sent on her merry way. I just hope she got a driver this time.

Buuuttt... Now Paris might be headed back to the slammer. This is like a trial gone awry on "Days of Our Lives". The judge that sentenced Paris to the clink the first go-round is ordering her back to a LA courtroom tomorrow to determine how she should serve the rest of her sentence. Because it was the Sheriff that let her off the hook, the judge and the district attorney are pissed that they were not consulted on the issue. Thus, the reason for the hearing tomorrow. Poor Paris. This morning she thought she would be spending the remaining 40 days of her sentence watching reruns of "The Simple Life" on E! Now Paris might be spending that time back in the slammer... I don't know which is worse.

Here is some other really important stuff that has been going on recently:

- Isaiah Washington, aka Dr. Burke, has officially been fired from "Grey's Anatomy". Who will Yang sleep with to get to the top now? Isaiah got the call today that he will not be returning to Seattle Grace. He was fired "due only in part to [his] onset troubles and was a result of a 'pattern of problematic behavior'." Washington had this to say: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." Hmm... Is referencing the movie Network supposed to mean something?

- Jennifer Aniston's mystery man was revealed as 36-year-old British model Paul Sculfor. The two dined and held hands during Memorial Day weekend.

- Dina Lohan is finally visiting Lindsay in rehab. It only took ten days.

- Speaking of La Lohan, some strange pictures of Linz and Vanessa Minnillo surfaced on the Internet the other day of the two holding a knife and fake stabbing each other in a slutty, S&M way. Sources are saying it could hurt Vanessa's career. Lindsay's already done enough damage to sink her career, so there's no worries there.

- You know how women breastfeed in public and other women say things like, "How beautiful!" or "Look at that cute little baby!" In case you haven't figured this out yet, I'm not one of those women. I encountered an issue at one of my jobs that my bathroom schedule happened to coincide with one woman's breastfeeding schedule. Now, the whirring sound of a breast pump is enough to send me screaming down the hallway whilst pulling my hair out in horror. Well, Maggie Gyllenhaal was spotted breastfeeding in NYC the other day. Thank goodness I was nowhere around. I warn you: view this link with caution.

- Speaking of babies, Baby Borat is on the way. Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are pregnant with their first child.

- Sarah Jessica Parker's new cost-conscious fashion line "Bitten" debuted today at Steve & Barry's stores across America. If you've actually ever seen a Steve & Barry's, then check it out!

- Larry and Laurie David have split after fourteen years of cynicism and environmental awareness.

- Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi went to rehab today.

- DVDs out this week: "Rescue Me: Season Three", "Seinfeld: Season Eight", "The Cosby Show: Seasons Three and Four". Load up on TV DVDs for lazy summer days.

Now I'm exhausted from the celebrity overload so I'm hitting the hay. Peace.