2009 Golden Globes

Hey y'all! It's that time of year again. Welcome to award season, everyone! Oh, how I have missed the glitz, the glamour, the dresses! I've been hitting the movies hardcore lately trying to catch up before the award shows, and I've made a pretty good dent in my list. Though I have to say, get there early or you'll be stuck with a front row seat. I was a bit appalled at the chaos that ensues when someone sits that close to the screen: make outs, nose picking, climbing seats... It's as if sitting that close drives people mad. I don't recommend it. Very distracting/slightly more entertaining than the movie.

As I'm sure you all know, the 2009 Golden Globes are TONIGHT at 8pm! Woohoo! The preshow starts at 6pm on E! and I'm so excited for my friends to come over to help me judge the dresses. Plus, I always love to see what a fool Guiliana Rancic makes of herself. Her teeth are about as blinding as Audrina Patridge's. And we all know the E! crew is installing Ryan Seacrest's step stool as we speak to make him look remotely close in height to Tom Cruise. I wish Joel McHale could host these things - he'd be much more entertaining! McHale for The Academy Awards!

The Golden Globes include both film and television. It's the elite award for television, and the Emmy equivalent for film. Here are some of my thoughts on the nominees:

Best Motion Picture - Drama:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire

For this category, I'm going to side with every person in Hollywood and say Slumdog Millionaire should win - hands down. It's been deemed "The Little Movie That Could." I went to see this movie opening night and it was sold out, due to the buzz it had already created. I knew nothing about it, which is really the best way to experience a movie. It is absolutely magnificent. It has all the elements that make a good film - drama, comedy, romance, suspense, violence. But none of it ever feels forced. You really feel for the young boy and girl in the film and want them to escape the slums they were born into. You want the boy to legitimately win Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, instead of cheating the system. You are on the edge of your seat for most of the film, and leave with an overwhelming good feeling despite the rough content. The visuals are fantastic, thanks to director Danny Boyle of Trainspotting fame. If you haven't seen it, make sure to stick around for the Bollywood dancing scene in the credits. It's really cool to watch and reconfirms that warmth of the film. Final Answer - Slumdog Millionaire takes home The Globe!

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama:
Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - The Changeling
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas - I've Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet - Revolutionary Road

Hmm... Well, we may already have an answer to who wins this category. The New York Times posted that The Golden Globes had announced Anne Hathaway as the winner earlier this week on their website, then retracted their statement. So I guess it's no surprise if Anne wins tonight. The media has been pushing this as her standout performance for months, so her win wouldn't have been a surprise anyway.

OK, let's discuss Rachel Getting Married for a moment. Umm, if I'm paying $12 to see a movie, I expect it to be well worth that ridiculously extravagant price. This movie is like 40 minutes of plot, and 60 minutes of people gyrating across the screen. Seriously. The story revolves around Rachel getting married (obvi) and her sister Kym coming home for the celebration. Kym is, for lack of a better term, a hot mess. Alcohol addiction, rehab, and sexual promiscuity are just the beginning of her list of problems. She's doing everything she can to push away her family. Anne Hathaway really did do a fantastic job of playing the extremely damaged Kym, but the stand out performance for me was Rosemarie DeWitt as Rachel. She has been overlooked by the critics, but she really shows her depth as an actress by constantly switching between hatred and love for her sister. She epitomized how one feels when dealing with a loved one's problem with addiction. However, the father is a bit, um, fruity and I kept waiting for this subplot to begin where he comes out of the closet, but that never happened. I'm still waiting for the sequel. So all of this is happening, and intermixed is scenes of some band playing music and then the entire wedding consists of people dancing around in Indian saris. About an hour of the film has no dialogue, just the wedding guests shaking their groove things in our faces. I don't understand what on earth this has to do with the plot or why it is necessary. I think I am owed at least $6 for having to endure that portion of the film.

Angelina Jolie could win for The Changeling. I'm a little surprised that this is the only thing related to Clint Eastwood that is nominated (he also starred in and directed Gran Torino) because he has been taking home all of the awards in recent years. Angelina did an excellent job in the film, and it's based on a true story. I was a little shocked at her character Christine Collins, whose son goes missing back in 1928, because she seemed remarkably calm through most of the film. In one scene, she lashes out screaming and crying, but other than that, she seems pretty even keel. She did a great job, but if you've just lost your son, I feel like you'd shed more than a few tears.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama:
Leonardo Dicaprio - Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

Unfortunately, the only one of these movies I've seen in Benjamin Button, so I won't be able to give a sound opinion on who should win. Mickey Rourke is the critics' choice for The Wrestler, finally winning over audiences again instead of people being mesmerized by his plastic surgery. Sean Penn, always the critics' darling, could also take home the award. I'm dying to see Milk and I hear it is a fantastic film. Brad Pitt did a good job in Button, but I don't know if it was Best Actor worthy.

Frank Langella won the Tony for Frost/Nixon. He's my pick to win. I saw Frost/Nixon during it's last week on Broadway, and I was the only person under 60 there. No joke. I'm not a history buff, and the only reason I went is because my father wanted me to. I didn't think I would enjoy it at all. However, I was mistaken. Both Frank Langella and Michael Sheen did an excellent job of portraying David Frost and Richard Nixon. With just two chairs on stage and no props, they were able to create such tension and suspense that I felt I was watching the original broadcast. I want to see the film to see how it differs from the play and if it is able to recreate the same powerful feeling on screen as it did on stage. I've heard good things and I would love it if Langella could take home the gold.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy:
Burn After Reading
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
Mamma Mia!
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

This one is tough. I love ABBA songs, but when I saw Mamma Mia! on Broadway, I couldn't stand the actress that played the main character, Sophie, and it sort of left me with a sour feeling. Amanda Seyfried played Sophie in the film version though, and I much preferred her performance. It was a good family-fun film and I definitely understand it's popularity, but winner of Best Motion Picture? I don't think so...

I haven't seen Happy-G0-Lucky or In Bruges, so I have no opinion on these. Burn After Reading was enjoyable and definitely has potential to win. It's a dark comedy that mocks our government and the lengths it will go to to cover up their shenanigans. The fact that it dares to challenge the government and that it's helmed by the Coen Brothers almost makes it a sure winner. I recommend everyone see it, but not everyone will love it. I also enjoyed Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and if anything, it made me want to get on a plane instantly and start traveling across Europe. It also has potential to win due to it being a Woody Allen film. I was taken aback at first because of the unexpected narration, but I was drawn into the stories of two young women feeling unsatisfied with their lives and needing some European adventures to spice things up. I wasn't mesmerized enough to say it's Best Motion Picture, but I'm glad it was nominated.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy:
Rebecca Hall - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sally Hawkins - Happy-G0-Lucky
Frances McDormand - Burn After Reading
Meryl Streep - Mamma Mia!
Emma Thompson - Last Chance Harvey

As above, this is a toughie. I'm not drawn to any of these performances as standouts. Rebecca Hall should definitely be recognized as an up-and-coming new star who I hope to see a lot more of in the next few years. She's got about five films in the works, so she's someone we should keep an eye on. I adore Frances McDormand, but I'm not sure if her performance in Burn After Reading was her best work. Meryl Streep made a pretty good effort at starring in a musical, but I don't think singing "Dancing Queen" is enough to help her take home the gold.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy:
Javier Bardem - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Colin Farrell - In Bruges
James Franco - Pineapple Express
Brendan Gleeson - In Bruges
Dustin Hoffman - Last Chance Harvey

I know Pineapple Express was just another Judd Apatow comedy, but I thought it was absolutely hilarious. James Franco was amazing! He normally plays in dramatic roles, and he hasn't really touched comedy since "Freaks and Geeks" (also Apatow) years ago. He really embodied the drug dealer role and showed his comedic chops might even be better than his tendency towards the dramatic. I definitely pick him to win, though I know most people don't think it's worthy of a Globe due to it being just another slapstick comedy.

Although, I wouldn't be disappointed if Javier Bardem won. After No Country for Old Men, I didn't think I would ever be able to watch him again because he scared the absolute piss out of me. But he was fascinating in his Vicky Cristina Barcelona role, and I completely understood how he could woo three women at once. He redeemed himself in my book by portraying someone much softer than his No Country character.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture:
Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler
Kate Winslet - The Reader

This category is a toss up. I'm not a fan of Penelope Cruz, but I definitely agree with critics that she gave a knockout performance in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She was the driving force in that film. Though it could go to either Marisa Tomei or Kate Winslet. Winslet always wins over the critics, but doesn't always take home the awards.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture:
Tom Cruise - Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey, Jr. - Tropic Thunder
Ralph Fiennes - The Duchess
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight

Forgive me for saying this, but I think I am the only person who did not enjoy Tropic Thunder. I just didn't think it was that funny after all of it's hype. I kept waiting for Tom Cruise to blow me away as so many people said he would, but he only disappointed me as usual (you know what I'm talking about, Katie). I tried to not let my hatred for that little man get in the way, but he just wasn't funny. If dancing around in a fat suit is the epitome of funny, then Eddie Murphy should win greatest performance of all time for Norbit. Robert Downey, Jr. was the only shining part of the film, and he was the only thing that made me laugh the entire time.

Although, I think we all expect the award to go to Heath Ledger. He really spooked me as The Joker and definitely lived up to his hype. I have a feeling he will win, and not just because his untimely death might tug at the heartstrings of some. Heath deserves the award, no questions asked.

Best Television Series - Drama:
Dexter
House
In Treatment
Mad Men
True Blood

OMG - I love Dexter! This show gets better and better every season. I always vote for it to win, and it never does. I beg people to watch this show, but I don't think I've influenced too many people. Oh, how I wish Dexter could take home the gold. But Mad Men is all the rage these days, and I'm 90% sure it will win. Tear. I'm a little sad that Lost isn't nominated for anything - get ready for The Oceanic Six back on your TV January 21! Can't wait!!!

And though I don't think it should win, I highly recommend True Blood. Alan Ball is one of my favorite writers, but I was like vampires? Really? I just haven't been able to jump on this Twilight bandwagon like everybody else. But I decided to give it a chance recently and, excuse the pun, was sucked in immediately. I watched all 12 episodes in a matter of days... I had very little to do. The accents are horrific and the stories can be a little cheesy at times, but somehow it managed to keep me coming back for more. I've never been able to get into the fantasy genre, but this took me back to my Buffy days. I can't wait for the second season to find out just what happened to Lafayette...

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama:
Sally Field - Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay - Law & Order
January Jones - Mad Men
Anna Paquin - True Blood
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer

How do I hate Brothers & Sisters? Let me count the ways. Calista Flockhart pains me to look at. Rob Lowe and Rachel Griffiths are being wasted on this show when they could best be used somewhere else. And Sally Field gets nominated every year. I hate it. I really, really hate it.

Though their Southern accents are horrendous, I enjoy both Anna Paquin and Kyra Sedgwick in their roles. Mariska Hargitay usually takes home the award, but I think January Jones stands a pretty good chance due to Mad Men being a critic favorite.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama:
Gabriel Byrne - In Treatment
Michael C. Hall - Dexter
Jon Hamm - Mad Men
Hugh Laurie - House
Jonathan Rhys Meyers - The Tudors

I'm sure you all know I'm going to say Michael C. Hall. Love that guy! And he has a lot to celebrate even if he doesn't win. He just married his costar, Jennifer Carpenter, who plays his sister on the show. Kinda gross if you think about it, but they do seem cute together. The two eloped on New Year's Eve and tonight will be their first public appearance together.

Every person nominated in this category is pretty worthy of the win. Jon Hamm has been everyone's favorite this year, especially women, so he's my bet to win. I just hope Jonathan Rhys Meyers doesn't win because he terrifies me. Seriously - sends chills down my spine when he looks in the camera.

Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy:
30 Rock
Californication
Entourage
The Office
Weeds

I hate to say this, but I'm kinda over The Office. What?! The horror! I know. I spent the first few years hoping for nothing but Jim and Pam to get together, but now that they're together, I really don't like their storyline. Everything seems a little forced these days and Michael's nonsense gets more and more out there. Don't get me wrong - I still watch and I still laugh. I just miss the anticipation of yesteryear. Now the biggest disappointment to me this year is most definitely Weeds. What used to be one of the most outrageous yet emotionally realistic shows has turned into a campy nightmare. Nancy and the crew are on the run and trafficking Mexicans in some border town - and where's Conrad?! I miss him! None of it fits Nancy, whose attempt to salvage her previous middle class life by selling drugs didn't seem like too far of a stretch. Now I barely recognize her due to her antics. Disappointing, to say the least.

30 Rock deserves the award and will most likely take it home. I can't imagine any of these other shows winning. The show is nonsensical, but it all makes sense in a weird way. I could do with a few less cameos (I'm talking about you, Jennifer Aniston), but otherwise, it's one of my favorite shows on television.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy:
Christina Applegate - Samantha Who?
America Ferrera - Ugly Betty
Tina Fey - 30 Rock
Debra Messing - The Starter Wife
Mary-Louise Parker - Weeds

Normally I vote for Mary-Louise Parker, but as you read above, definitely not this year! I'm not even sure why she's nominated. And I know I'm not the only person upset with the direction Weeds is going in. I love Christina Applegate as Samantha Who?, but the stand out star to me on that show is Jennifer Esposito as drunken, gold-digging Andrea. She makes me laugh every time. However, we all know the award is going to Tina Fey. Don't confuse Liz Lemon with Sarah Palin, but both are tragic, yet hilarious hot messes in their own ways. Both comedy gold.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy:
Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock
Steve Carell - The Office
Kevin Connolly - Entourage
David Duchovny - Californication
Tony Shaloub - Monk

I don't think any votes will go to anyone but Alec Baldwin. He is my favorite character on 30 Rock besides Kenneth the Page. Baldwin might be crazy in real life, but he fuels that crazy into comedy with Jack Donaghy. While Carell and Shaloub might win over a few people, the award should most definitely go to Alec Baldwin.

Damn, there are a lot of categories for The Golden Globes. I'm exhausted after using my brain that much on a Sunday. Get pumped for the speeches and the fashion, people! I'll be glued to the TV starting at 6pm today and hoping Seacrest says something stupid upon his pedestal. I hope everyone enjoys and I can't wait to see who wins!

"Kath & Kim" - Not Worth the Hype

A fan of all things British, Australian, or Kiwi (wink, wink Jemaine), naturally I was ecstatic when I heard that the Australian show "Kath & Kim" was getting an American remake for the fall TV season. While I generally can't stand Selma Blair, I assumed pairing her with Molly Shannon might make her a little less annoying and half of a comedy powerhouse. However, I was wrong.

"Kath & Kim" is now available to watch on Yahoo! or you can download the pilot episode for free on iTunes. I downloaded it and watched it on my iPhone whilst wheezing on the elliptical machine at my gym. The best way for me to forget that I'm torturing my body is to watch comedy shows on my iPhone while I'm exercising. My staples: "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and "Samantha Who?". When I realized I could get the pilot of "Kath & Kim" for free, I was giddy with excitement as I have been anticipating it's arrival for months now. But it didn't really result in the laughter blackout I was prepared for.

"Kath & Kim" tells the story of a mother and daughter, Molly Shannon and Selma Blair (MS is actually only 8 years older than SB in real life), who have an extremely dysfucntional relationship and have yet to realize the early 90's are over. They dress in horrendous outfits usually consisting of ill-fitting spandex and generally act like children, especially Kim. But spandex can only get you so many laughs before you start wondering when something funny is going to happen. Kim leaves her husband because he wants her to do stuff, like microwave dinner every once in a while. Kath is dating a sandwich artist. And...... that's about it. I was greatly disappointed that this is all the show had to offer. I know the physical comedy of her Mary Katherine Gallagher days are long behind us, but I was expecting more of Molly Shannon. Selma Blair has absolutely perfected the whiny brat character she plays in every film and was obviously the inspiration for Meredith Grey. She just annoyed me as usual, so bravo on that note for living up to my expectations!

It's just the pilot, and pilots are usually the worst episodes of an entire series. I wasn't so sure about "30 Rock" when I saw that pilot either, but I've since fallen in love with Liz Lemon and the antics of the crew at "TGS". So don't take my word for it... Give "Kath & Kim" a chance when it premieres on NBC Thursday night at 8:30pm. I'm going to keep watching... for now. If after three episodes it has still yet to impress, I'll give it the kiss of death (remove it from the DVR). I had higher hopes for this much hyped show, but I think we might be better off trying to find episodes online of the original version from the Outback.

Photo: via thebiz.fancast.com

NBC Fall TV Lineup Announced

I know all of you are just giddy with anticipation to find out if your favorite shows are coming back next year.

NBC announced their 2007 TV Lineup this morning. The best show on television, "The Office", is back next year with a move to 9pm on Thursdays and five hour long episodes throughout the year. Expect more sexual tension between Jim and Pam. I also suspect the Dwangela (Dwight-Angela) relationship will be brought out into the public. "Comedy Night Done Right" will go like this: "My Name is Earl", 8pm; "30 Rock", 8:30pm; "The Office", 9pm; "Scrubs", 9:30pm; "ER", 10pm. "Scrubs" has narrowly avoided cancellation yet again, but is back with only 18 episodes next year. "ER" is flat-lining and could be moved from it's permanent Thursdays at 10pm spot. "Heroes" has spawned it's own spin-off with "Heroes: Origins" taking over during their hiatus. "Law & Order" will be back in January, but "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" will be moving to the USA Network. NBC is also making Friday night "Game Night" with lots of...wait for it...game shows and will round out the night with the audience-fav "Friday Night Lights", a prime example of how the viewers can convince a network to bring a show back. Not on the schedule... "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". New shows will be "Bionic Woman", appealing to the "Heroes" demographic, and "Lipstick Jungle", appealing to the sexually curious twentysomething demographic.

As for ABC, they announced Addison Shepherd will officially be moving to LA this fall with her new show "Private Practice". Let's hope they get rid of the Elevator God stuff and stick to relationship drama...and perhaps some medical stuff, as well. ABC also said "Lost" won't be returning until January, but they will run it the same as this year with no repeats.

Some finales take place this week. Click here for a full schedule. I don't watch CBS except for Monday nights. Their comedy night isn't so bad, since nothing else comes on on Mondays. "How I Met Your Mother" has it's series finale tonight at 8pm. When this series first debuted, I thought it sucked. But it has only gotten better with time. The highlight of the show is womanizing Barney, played by Neil Patrick Harris, the only gay actor that can play a straight character and successfully make me forget that he is gay in real life (T.R. Knight aka George O'Malley might want to work on this). Also, CBS has finally pulled the plug (thank you!) and "The King of Queens" has it's final show EVER tonight. As you can tell, I am distraught over the loss of this show. We bid adieu forever to Lorelai and Rory on "Gilmore Girls" tomorrow night. The newest model to not really have a career post-win will be chosen Wednesday night on "America's Next Top Model". All of NBC's shows wrap up this Thursday night. How will Jim react to Pam's confession from last week? Tune in to "The Office" from 8-9pm to find out! "Ugly Betty" ends it's season this week, but I don't watch this so I have nothing funny to quip about here. "Grey's Anatomy" also airs it's season finale this week and I'm sure we'll be left with some emotionally devastating cliffhanger. For example... Will George transfer to another hospital to save his ridiculous marriage to Callie (not me) and leave Izzie in a pouty close-up freeze frame? We'll have to wait and find out this Thursday night!

I hope your some of your favorites got picked up again this year! Hopefully some new shows are on the horizon that don't involve bachelors, desperate woman, fame seekers, Tyra Banks, or Flava Flav (just kidding - I would watch any of his shows. Don't judge me.) Enjoy your season finales this week!

And another thing...

It's been a big day in the celebrity world. I don't think I've ever said "The View" this many times in one day.

- Turns out I was right. Sanjaya is the product of a drug-induced stupor. His mom, Jillain Blith, and sister, Shyamali, were both arrested in February 2005 for growing pot. Shyamali gave up her mom in exchange for a lighter sentence. Which makes me think... I see a book in Shyamali's future detailing her relationship with Sanjaya a la Donna Hogan's book about her sister entitled Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith.

- Speaking of Sanjaya, he is interviewed in this week's People magazine. He told the mag, "I've always gotten along with girls better because I was raised by women. I got teased in school because people figured I must be gay because I understand women. I think that's why guys didn't like me - because I got along with girls so well. When I went up to girls they would give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek like I was their gay friend. But I was the straight guy that understood them. [Before Idol] I had a girlfriend but she became clingy, and I didn't want to get into a really serious relationship because I was 16. I just wanted to date and have fun." For once, I'm going to have to go with "no comment"...

- After a judge's ruling today, Larry Birkhead is allowed to bring Dannielynn to the US as long as he brings her back in June for the full custody hearing. Ol' Virgie Arthur is allowed to appeal, but it may not have much effect. Since Larry has already sold pictures of his precious daughter that he has fought so desperately to control...I mean love...no telling what will happen when Dannielynn hits the homeland.

- By now, I'm sure you have all heard or heard about Alec Baldwin's voicemail he left on his daughter (with Kim Basinger) Ireland's cell phone last week. This Friday, he will be appearing on "The View". The segment was taped today and Baldwin was said to be "very heartfelt, apologetic and emotional". He said he doesn't want to do "30 Rock" anymore and would like to be removed from his contract. However, NBC just renewed the show for another season. NBC released this statement regarding Alec's comments: "Alec Baldwin remains an important part of '30 Rock'. We look forward to having him continue his role in the show.” Looks like your stuck with Jack Donaghy for now, buddy.

- Victoria Beckham eats?? I must say, I am shocked. In a recent interview, she said, "I began living on vegetables and nothing else. But it never occurred to me that I had an eating disorder." Now she says it is all about control and she's added fish and chicken to her diet. Woah... Slow down there, Posh. Next thing you know, you'll face plant into a giant chocolate cake!

- If you're thinking of getting into acting, maybe Screech could manage your career. Dustin Diamond has started his own management company called A Diamond in the Rough (how clever!) for washed up child actors. Britney Spears has already put in a few calls to his office.

Comedy Night Done Right

NBC has all new and expanded shows tonight. What used to be known as "Must See TV" starts tonight at 8pm with a forty minute episode of "The Office" followed by a forty minute episode of "30 Rock". Catch Will Arnett, my comedic crush and Amy Poehler's real-life husband, as Alec Baldwin's rival on "30 Rock" tonight. The only rerun is "My Name is Earl" with an episode featuring Roseanne, but I'm all right with that because I need to get my Roseanne fix any way I can.

Halle, "30 Rock", and much more

- Halle Berry finally got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, four years after she was supposed to.

- "30 Rock" has been renewed for another season. Yay!

- "7th Heaven", "The Black Donnellys", and "Six Degrees" are all kaput. The "7th Heaven" theme song will forever be burned into my memory though, so you might just get to hear it after a few drinks.

- Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan have been hanging out recently, putting to rest their five year long fued over Aaron Carter. Yeah, that's right. I said Aaron Carter. Could this have anything to do with La Lohan's image makeover and Duff's upcoming album? No. Never!

- Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper are both featured on the cover of Out magazine, although neither have ever admitted their sexual orientation.

- Keith Richards admitted to snorting a bit of his father's ashes with a little cocaine. Then he took it back. However, I would keep all urns under lock and key in case he ever does run out of the nose candy.

- Heidi Montag of "The Hills" got a boob job, which I'm sure Spencer requested.

- Few people showed up for the "Project Runway" auditions in LA, which could mean trouble for the show. What will I do without Tim Gunn in my life?

- Anna Faris of Scary Movie fame has filed for divorce.

- Woo! "Run's House" is back for another season next Monday on MTV.

- Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown will make their divorce official on April 24. No more drug-induced political arguments... Tear.

- A member of Three 6 Mafia's entourage pissed on Jennifer Love Hewitt's lawn, something she's been doing to our television lineup for years. Payback is a bitch, Hewitt.

Ok, I'm going to watch "Lost". Peace!

Picture courtesy of People magazine.