Weird Couples and Celebutante News

You just got PUNK'D! That's how I felt when I saw this picture of Kate Hudson and Dax Shepard. Apparently the two are dating. You all know Hudson from How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Shepard from Employee of the Month... No? Did you not see that masterpiece starring Jessica Simpson? Well, he was also on the first season of "Punk'd" and in a Nick Lachey music video. And Dax proves that chivalry is, in fact, not dead as he has removed his sweaty, nasty shirt for Kate to smother her face with. Ahhh... How romantic!

- Lindsay Lohan busted out of rehab last Friday and has made an important decision... Regarding her accessories. LaLo's rep said: "On her own, she has also made the decision in support of her sobriety to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet. In part she is wearing the bracelet so there are no questions about her sobriety if she chooses to go dancing or dining in a place where alcohol is served." And first stop out of rehab was, of course, going clubbing. But only "in part", as Linds was only partaking of water and energy drinks. (You can see the bracelet around her ankle in this picture.)

- And in other clubbing rehabilitated starlet news, Britney Spears will host the opening of LAX nightclub next month in Las Vegas.

- Winona Ryder is on the August cover of Vogue and for the first time, she's finally talking about her arrest for shoplifting back in December 2001. She's blaming her five finger discount on too many painkillers. Uh, I thought you were researching a role, Winona? I liked that excuse better.

- Brace yourselves... Paris Hilton is working on a new album. I can't wait!

- Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell were married this last Saturday at a BBQ-turned-surprise-wedding. Surprise - nobody cares.

- Some people do get second chances! NBC has hired ex-"Grey's Anatomy" actor Isaiah Washington for five episodes on their new show "Bionic Woman". There has been a lot of buzz around this show from Internet geeks, but this may ward off many gay viewers after Isaiah's use of the F word back on the "Grey's" set.

- I'm sure to get my Jim Halpert fix when "The Office" returns September 27 with four hour-long episodes! Woo! It will run against "Grey's Anatomy", which will take second place to The Guru and be watched on DVR at a later time. Sorry, Meredith. Maybe you shouldn't whine so much and I would watch you more.

- Apparently Shrek and Fiona have been getting busy after Shrek the Third because there are going to be two more movies in the series.

- Sharon Stone is dating Craig Ferguson, the Scottish host of The Late Late Show on CBS.

- Well, it's about time somebody beat the shit out of Andy Dick! Jon Lovitz was pissed over a comment Dick made about his old friend Phil Hartman a year ago. Dick told him, "I put the 'Phil Hartman hex' on you - you're the next one to die." Lovitz said, "I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women." Apparently Dick is the one who gave Phil's wife, Brynn, cocaine after she had been sober for ten years. And months later, she shot Phil and herself. So when Lovitz saw Dick at The Laugh Factory last weekend, he expected an apology which he, of course, did not receive. He then "picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose." I can't say I blame the guy.

- Bridget Monyahan is set to give birth to Tom Brady's baby this Friday, which just happens to be his current girlfriend Gisele Bundchen's birthday. Tension is high and things aren't so great between Tom and Gisele, according to Page Six.

- High School Musical 2 will air on Disney on August 17 at 8pm. I still never saw the first one. I guess I should Netflix it... Strictly for the benefit of Pop Guru.

- Who knew there was such a demand for paternity tests and biracial relationships with redneck little people? "Maury" and "The Jerry Springer Show" have been renewed through 2010.

Photos: Ramey and Splash

NBC Fall TV Lineup Announced

I know all of you are just giddy with anticipation to find out if your favorite shows are coming back next year.

NBC announced their 2007 TV Lineup this morning. The best show on television, "The Office", is back next year with a move to 9pm on Thursdays and five hour long episodes throughout the year. Expect more sexual tension between Jim and Pam. I also suspect the Dwangela (Dwight-Angela) relationship will be brought out into the public. "Comedy Night Done Right" will go like this: "My Name is Earl", 8pm; "30 Rock", 8:30pm; "The Office", 9pm; "Scrubs", 9:30pm; "ER", 10pm. "Scrubs" has narrowly avoided cancellation yet again, but is back with only 18 episodes next year. "ER" is flat-lining and could be moved from it's permanent Thursdays at 10pm spot. "Heroes" has spawned it's own spin-off with "Heroes: Origins" taking over during their hiatus. "Law & Order" will be back in January, but "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" will be moving to the USA Network. NBC is also making Friday night "Game Night" with lots of...wait for it...game shows and will round out the night with the audience-fav "Friday Night Lights", a prime example of how the viewers can convince a network to bring a show back. Not on the schedule... "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". New shows will be "Bionic Woman", appealing to the "Heroes" demographic, and "Lipstick Jungle", appealing to the sexually curious twentysomething demographic.

As for ABC, they announced Addison Shepherd will officially be moving to LA this fall with her new show "Private Practice". Let's hope they get rid of the Elevator God stuff and stick to relationship drama...and perhaps some medical stuff, as well. ABC also said "Lost" won't be returning until January, but they will run it the same as this year with no repeats.

Some finales take place this week. Click here for a full schedule. I don't watch CBS except for Monday nights. Their comedy night isn't so bad, since nothing else comes on on Mondays. "How I Met Your Mother" has it's series finale tonight at 8pm. When this series first debuted, I thought it sucked. But it has only gotten better with time. The highlight of the show is womanizing Barney, played by Neil Patrick Harris, the only gay actor that can play a straight character and successfully make me forget that he is gay in real life (T.R. Knight aka George O'Malley might want to work on this). Also, CBS has finally pulled the plug (thank you!) and "The King of Queens" has it's final show EVER tonight. As you can tell, I am distraught over the loss of this show. We bid adieu forever to Lorelai and Rory on "Gilmore Girls" tomorrow night. The newest model to not really have a career post-win will be chosen Wednesday night on "America's Next Top Model". All of NBC's shows wrap up this Thursday night. How will Jim react to Pam's confession from last week? Tune in to "The Office" from 8-9pm to find out! "Ugly Betty" ends it's season this week, but I don't watch this so I have nothing funny to quip about here. "Grey's Anatomy" also airs it's season finale this week and I'm sure we'll be left with some emotionally devastating cliffhanger. For example... Will George transfer to another hospital to save his ridiculous marriage to Callie (not me) and leave Izzie in a pouty close-up freeze frame? We'll have to wait and find out this Thursday night!

I hope your some of your favorites got picked up again this year! Hopefully some new shows are on the horizon that don't involve bachelors, desperate woman, fame seekers, Tyra Banks, or Flava Flav (just kidding - I would watch any of his shows. Don't judge me.) Enjoy your season finales this week!

Comedy Night Done Right

NBC has all new and expanded shows tonight. What used to be known as "Must See TV" starts tonight at 8pm with a forty minute episode of "The Office" followed by a forty minute episode of "30 Rock". Catch Will Arnett, my comedic crush and Amy Poehler's real-life husband, as Alec Baldwin's rival on "30 Rock" tonight. The only rerun is "My Name is Earl" with an episode featuring Roseanne, but I'm all right with that because I need to get my Roseanne fix any way I can.

I shall miss you New York

So, I finally watched Borat last night. As much as I wanted to hate it, I have to say it was pretty darn funny. Don't expect me to be saying "Wa-wa-wee-wa" anytime soon though.

- The "I Love New York" finale was last night. I was shocked when New York picked Tango "to be her rock", and even more shocked when he gave her a real rock. I really wanted her to pick Chance so they could do a reality show on their life together, but I guess they'll just be doing a wedding planning show with her and Tango. I feel I should shed a tear for the end of this show, but only two more weeks until Monique's Charm School!! Don't judge me.

- Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's divorce was finalized last week. The media reports that she was going to the hospital for a toothache were false. She was really going to a lawyer's office next door to the hospital. FedEx only got $1 million in the settlement. How will he ever survive off that?

- Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, finally had her baby girl last night. The baby has not been named and will only be referred to as "Baby Brown" for now. A paternity test will be taken in the future to determine whether the baby daddy is Eddie Murphy or not. Maury Povich is standing by with his manila envelopehttp://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif ready to go.

- I got some good laughs out of Alanis Morissette's cover of "My Humps" this morning. Maybe you will enjoy it, too.

- Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez, producer of her new movie Grindhouse supposedly got it on during filming and may still be together after breaking up his marriage.

- There may be a convention for "The Office" in Scranton, PA next November. There will be screenings of old episodes and appearances by some of the cast members. Maybe this will finally be my "chance" meeting with John Krasinski.

- Speaking of "The Office", Ricky Gervais has decided to end his HBO show "Extras" with a star-studded Christmas special. He did the same with the original British version of "The Office". Madonna will supposedly make an appearance in the final episode.

- Bob Barker is retiring soon from "The Price is Right" and his replacement might be George Hamilton. From one super-tanned old perv to the next.

- Donald Trump kept his hair Sunday night. Damn!

- Scarlett Johansson's movie "Nanny Diaries" has been pushed back from its original release date in April until September to better their chances for award season. Um... Whatever you say. Usually when a movie gets pushed back, this means it's crap and they have to go back and reshoot. Only time will tell.

- Remember cute little Andy Keaton from "Family Ties"? Yeah... He's not so cute anymore. Former child actor Brian Bonsall, now 25, was arrested this weekend for throwing alcohol on his girlfriend while she slept, putting her in a choke hold, and then throwing her on the bed.

Sir Bono, Posh, and TV news

Did anyone watch "Lost" last night? I don't like episodes about the new survivors. Or anything that makes me think a spider is crawling on me all night. Or that I will be buried alive.

- Bono was knighted today, but he would prefer it if we didn't call him "sir". I'll try to remember that next time I'm hanging out with him.

- Bruce Willis was supposedly seen "full-on making out" with Courtney Love at his 52nd birthday party. Vom.

- Sources are now speculating that caffeine killed Anna Nicole Smith. I guess I need to switch to decaf. "What?! Why you son of a bitch! You told me this was regular coffee!" A select few of you will get that reference.

- Us Weekly posted a letter on their website pleading with Victoria Beckham to start wearing bras when she moves to LA. Here is my letter: Dear Posh, Please go to In-and-Out Burger as soon as you land at LAX. Love, Killa

- "Top Chef" host Padma Lakshmi has supposedly split from her author husband Salman Rushdie. She claims he was totally harshing her buzz.

- Britney Spears went to the hospital because her tooth was hurting. Today she has a headache and CNN devoted a half-hour to the story.

- To promote The Simpsons movie this summer, select 7-Eleven stores might be turned into Kwik-E-Marts. People will also be able to buy Buzz Cola and iced Squishees. There is no sarcasm involved in this post.

- "Rescue Me" will begin its fourth season in June. I'm absolutely ecstatic for more opportunities to see my Hispanic boyfriend Franco!!

- It was reported that "Diff'rent Strokes" actor Todd Bridges was dead. He responded with, "What you talkin' bout, TMZ?"

- "Laguna Beach" = DUIs. The newest cast member to get arrested is Jessica Smith, who you may remember as the most annoying person in existence. She was released today and charged with a DUI and causing "great bodily injury" in a car wreck.

- Seeing how much press Britney Spears has received lately, Donald Trump might shave his head. Hallelujah.

- There is a marathon of "The Office" tonight on NBC. So that's two hours of Jim Halpert. Awesome!

- Has anyone been watching "'Til Death Do Us Part?", the new Court TV show hosted by John Waters? He is the narrator that takes us through a new story of spousal murder each episode. It is my new favorite murder show. Perhaps maybe I should start watching "American Idol"...