Academy Awards Fashion Coverage

It's so late and I'm oh so tired, so sorry to make this brief. But I didn't want to disappoint you and leave you hanging without knowing what I thought about last night's fashion. So here goes...

Worst Dressed:

Cate Blanchett - I'm probably going to get torn apart for this, but this is a hideous dress. She looks like a giant eggplant - and no, I'm not making fun of the fact that she is knocked up. Pregnant or not, this dress would still get my vote for worst dressed.


Penelope Cruz - It's no secret that I despise Penelope. How long have you been in America? It's about time to learn a little English. And how many times can she wear this same silhouette? Every damn time she wears a strapless dress with some sort of feather assortment. Get a new stylist and a speech coach.


Nicole Kidman - The Ice Princess stayed true to her nickname by wearing every diamond that ever existed with this dress. She could have down-played that just a smidge. And when she went to present, the necklace was drapped around her left breast. Was that on purpose, Nicole? You were just trying to show off your new boob, weren't you?


Anne Hathaway - I mean, leave the garden at home. Train wreck upon her shoulder.


Daniel Day-Lewis - Lose the earrings, Captain Jack Sparrow.



Best Dressed:

Cameron Diaz - As much as I hate to admit because I loathe Cameron with a passion, I actually like this ensemble. I can feel my dignity being stripped away by the second.


Marion Cotillard - There have been mixed reviews of this dress. Some people say she looked like a fish. But I really liked it! It fit her perfectly and if I could squeeze my ass into that dress, I would have worn it, too.


Katherine Heigl - Love the dress, hate the hair. Did Ken Paves get a hold of her? Really girl - how about drink the juice, Shelby, because that hair looks like it came straight out of Steel Magnolias. But awesome dress!


Heidi Klum - This dress is fabulous! Heidi rocked it.


Keri Russell - Absolutely love it!!!!! I'll be taking this picture next time I get my hair done to get this cute do. I love this girl. Love the dress. Love the hair. Love the jewels. She gets the ultimate best dressed award!


And now for my special awards...

What the F are you doing at the Oscars? Award:

Miley Cyrus - She annoys the crap out of me. Why were you at the Oscars? Victoria Beckham may as well have shown up if you were there. Paula Abdul - sure, come on down. We're so glad you could make it, Raven Symone. Why don't you just send out an invite to every asshole in Hollywood? Geez, I can't wait until she starts drinking.


Most Awkward and Inappropriate Moment Award:
Who else could this go to but Ryan Seacrest? I didn't see Maria Menounos anywhere so she must have sent her questions to Seacrest in advance. When he asked Jessica Alba if she was going to breastfeed her baby, Dick Clark rolled over in his grave. Wait, I think he is still alive. Regardless, he at least vomited over the tragic reality that his legacy is being shit on by Seacrest.

Photos: People.com

Nicole Kidman Testifies, Britney Spears Loses Lawsuit, Kanye West Breaks Down, and More

Nicole Kidman showed up to court today in Sydney to give testimony that she feared a paparazzi chase would end in a car wreck two years ago. She claimed she was "really, really scared" and reduced to tears from the traumatic event. Nicole also said, "I have been pursued many times... I employ people to protect me now. I employ people 24 hours to protect myself because I don't feel equipped to handle things."

- Kanye West broke down while performing his song "Hey Mamma" at a Paris concert. Kanye's mother, Donda West, passed away last weekend due to complications with plastic surgery. He became visibly upset and had to be consoled by members of his band before leaving the stage. He did come back out refreshed to perform an encore of "Stronger" after taking a fifteen minute break to compose himself. Dr. Jan Adams, the doctor that performed Donda's surgery, will appear on "Larry King Live" tomorrow to give his side of the story.

- Louis Vuitton has won a lawsuit against Britney Spears in Paris for "bastardizing their logo and tarnishing the company image."

- Just in case you are keeping score, it is now K-Fed: 11, Britney: 0. K-Fed found out he gets the kids for Turkey Day. Britney will celebrate the holiday with the kids on Wednesday. I hear she is having the event catered by KFC.

- Nicole Richie had a Wizard of Oz themed baby shower this weekend with over 90 guests. Richie has yet to confirm the sex of her and Joel Madden's baby, but some guests did bring gifts for a boy.

- Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested yesterday in a Dublin, Ireland airport for public drunkenness and breach of peace when trying to board a plane. He had been told twice by police to calm down while acting in "erractic, abusive behavior" before being arrested. He had been in Dublin to promote August Rush, his new movie with Keri Russell.

- The cast of Celebrity Apprentice is in: Marilu Henner from "Taxi", Piers Morgan from "America's Got Talent", Gene Simmons from Kiss, Stephen Baldwin aka the most insane Baldwin brother (not that there is much of a competition for that title), Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore from "The Sopranos", Omarosa and her horse mouth, and a bunch of other people I have never heard of. Check out the rest of the cast here.

- "Dirty Sexy Money" has been picked up for a full season by ABC. It is the first show to be picked up for a full season since the WGA went on strike November 5.

- The show must go on! The cast of "Saturday Night Live" performed their show at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater this past weekend along with the originally scheduled host Michael Cera and musical guest Yo La Tengo. "Saturday Night Live - On Strike!" featured never-before-seen skits performed live in front of a very small audience. America only got to see a rerun of Brian Williams' hosting gig from a few weeks ago.

- Barney finally gets his slaps on tonight's "Slapsgiving" episode of "How I Met Your Mother".

- A seven-month pregnant Juliana Margulies got hitched to lawyer Keith Lieberthal in Massachuetts.

- Timbaland is about to become a father with a woman who works at his record label, though the two are not together. Page Six reports he will be "involved in the child's upbringing."

- Orlando Bloom and Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr are dating. Who knew?

- Michael Vick surrendered himself to U.S. Marshalls today to begin serving his sentence. His trial was set to begin in three weeks, so now whatever sentence the judge gives him could end earlier than anticipated.

- Serena Williams and rapper Common are rumored to be dating.

Photo: WireImage

Margot at the Wedding

Some celebrities made it out for a screening of Margot at the Wedding in NYC last night. The film, written and directed by Noah Baumbach, stars Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Jack Black. I've heard Jack isn't so annoying in this one, so it has hope. Baumbach also wrote and directed The Squid and the Whale a couple of years ago, so if you were a fan of that you will probably also like Margot.

Jennifer Jason Leigh and hubby Noah Baumbach. She creeps me out. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it is because of Single White Female. Probably because the movie Dolores Claiborne used to freak me out when I was little. Does anyone else feel like she is creepy? I think it might just be me.

Speaking of creepy, Nicole Kidman made her appearance.

Helena Christensen

Eva Amurri, otherwise known as Susan Sarandon's daughter.

Adrian Grenier looking sporty in his man-scarf.

It's Dawn Wiener all grown up! Or we can just call her Heather Matarazzo. Potato, patato.

Photos: WireImage

The envelope please...

Hola people! I hope you enjoyed last night's ceremony. I'm exhausted from staying up and watching the entire Academy Awards and some press conferences afterwards, but we all suffer for our art, right? If you couldn't keep your eyes open long enough to see who won, here is a rundown of the biggest categories:

Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine (There is a God. So sorry, Eddie.)
Best Actress: Helen Mirren, The Queen
Best Actor: Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland
Best Director: Martin Scorsese, The Departed
Best Motion Picture: The Departed

The only real surprise for me was Alan Arkin. When I saw Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg come down to present the Best Director Award, I knew Marty had won. Congrats to him, as this is long over due. I thought Ellen Degeneres did an alright job; nothing really had me doubled over in laughter. However, I really did enjoy the singing by Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly.

But y'all don't really care about that crap, do you? You want to know who wore the best dresses. Now, what you have all been waiting for.......... Callie's Fashion Coverage of The 79th Annual Academy Awards!!!!!

Best Dressed:

5. Maggie Gyllenhaal in a Proenza Schouler dress - A lot of you will probably disagree with me on this, but I thought it looked great as she walked on stage. And she had the best one-shoulder of the night - a look so many people were wearing and something you can expect me to be bringing back from freshman year of college as well.


4. Cate Blanchett in a Giorgio Armani Prive dress


3. Reese Witherspoon in a Nina Ricci dress (she has been wearing her a lot lately)


2. Jennifer Lopez in a Marchesa dress - I can't stand her and I have no idea why she keeps showing up at these award shows, but I would totally wear this dress...while simultaneously looking fabulous!


1. Jessica Biel in an Oscar de la Renta dress - Who says you can't wear a flashy color to The Oscars?


Worst Dressed:

5. Jennifer Hudson in Oscar de la Renta - Love the dress, but shrug not needed.


4. Nicole Kidman in a Balenciaga dress- We all knew it was wrong when Charlize Theron showed up with her own built-in pillow, so why must you repeat that horror?


3. Beyonce in an Armani Prive dress - I don't like it and I don't like you.


2. Kirsten Dunst - You are not elderly.


1. Anne Hathaway - Like I told Hilary Swank after The Golden Globes, there is absolutely no need to giftwrap yourself for the occasion. You aren't jumping out of a cake.


And The Oddest Couple of the Night Award goes to............................

Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice and Kelly Osbourne - This picture creeps me out. How do either of them benefit from this friendship?


Enjoy! I look forward to your commentary. I have to actually do some work now, people. Peace out.

Killa

Pictures courtesy of People and TMZ.