Let's play "What Does Pop Guru Think!" Once again, nominations have been announced - meaning I've been giddy with excitement all day because I get to inflict my opinions upon you! For those of you who get all the awards confused, the Emmys are strictly for television. You won't see any film nominees here. So here's how it will go... I'll tell you who has been nominated, then I'll delight you with who I think will win and who I want to win (which is the most important part of this whole process). Main categories only, though. If you want to see who got nominated for Outstanding Hairstyling For A Miniseries, Movie Or A Special, then go here.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:
Ricky Gervais as Andy Millman, "Extras" - HBO
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk, "Monk" - USA
Steve Carell as Michael Scott, "The Office" - NBC
Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, "30 Rock" - NBC
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS
Who I think will win: Tony Shalhoub. Doesn't this guy win every year? If not him, Alec.
Who I want to win: Shit. This is tough. Do I have to decide?? I just recently discovered "Extras" and absolutely LOVE it! Ricky Gervais is hysterical as the bumbling "Background Artist" and somehow Gervais has the power to make celebrities kiss his feet (even Madonna!). Alec Baldwin may be an ass in real life, but he is magic on the screen, my friends. And I'll always have a soft spot for Michael Scott in my heart. If someone pointed a gun at my head and forced me to choose, I'd have to go with Alec.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
James Spader as Alan Shore, "Boston Legal" - ABC
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House, "House" - FOX
Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin, "Rescue Me" - F/X
James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, "24" - FOX
Who I think will win: Hugh Laurie because (as I said before) who can resist a bumbling Brit? But it was the last year for "The Sopranos" and despite an ending most viewers hated, James could easily take home the gold.
Who I want to win: Seeing as I screamed with glee when I heard his name announced this morning (seriously - and this was before coffee), I'd have to give the Emmy to my dear friend and beloved asshole, Denis Leary.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:
Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo, "Desperate Housewives" - ABC
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine Campbell, "The New Adventures of Old Christine" - CBS
Tina Fey as Liz Lemon, "30 Rock" - NBC
America Ferrera as Betty Suarez, "Ugly Betty" - ABC
Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin, "Weeds" - Showtime
Who I think will win: America Ferrera. I just hope Maria Menounos is on the sidelines when she wins to crush her to the very core by asking America how she feels when people call her "thick".
Who I want to win: Well, considering I can't even look at Felicity Huffman without picturing her prosthetic member from Transamerica, definitely NOT her. And I absolutely despise Old Christine, New Christine, Ugly Christine, and any and all Christines involved with that show. Everybody knows I want my favorite pot dealing, coffee drinking Mom to take home that trophy... Mary-Louise! You know, I don't blame her for taking to the ganj. That's probably the only way I could be a mother.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Sally Field as Nora Walker, "Brothers & Sisters" - ABC
Kyra Sedgwick as Dep. Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, "The Closer" - TNT
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" - NBC
Patricia Arquette as Allison Dubois, "Medium" - NBC
Minnie Driver as Dahlia Malloy, "The Riches" - F/X
Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Who I think will win: Kyra Sedgwick. Her Southern accent is not quite right (none of my friends from Atlanta have Southern accents... Weird), but I've spent a lazy day (or two) watching marathons of this show and it is quite entertaining. And it's quite refreshing, as refreshing as crime shows can be when they are played on constant repeat on TV all day long. But the same goes for Edie as it did for James Gandolfini... Edie might take the award for the last season of "The Sopranos". I know, I know. It's all so political.
Who I want to win: Kyra, but if not her, Mariska. I like Mariska. I just wish she would stop cutting her hair to look like a detective. How Method of her. Minnie Driver's wretched Southern accent is what kept me from enjoying "The Riches", so not her. And Patricia Arquette... Uh, I didn't even know "Medium" was still on the air, so I just want to extend to her my congratulations for having like four viewers left.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series:
Kevin Dillon as Johnny Drama, "Entourage" - HBO
Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold, "Entourage" - HBO
Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother" - CBS
Rainn Wilson as Dwight K. Schrute, "The Office" - NBC
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS
Who I think will win: Most likely, Jeremy Piven. I was bored to tears with the first few episodes of this season of "Entourage", so I have no idea what his acting ability has been like. I feel like he is a big contender, though.
Who I want to win: My first instinct is to shout, wait for it... "Barney! Barney! Barney!" But then I have pangs of guilt because I'm a devoted Dwight fan with a Dwight bobblehead on my bookshelf. I would be happy with either (but don't think they'll win - but I will psychotically jump up and down on my couch like Tom Cruise if either do).
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series:
William Shatner as Denny Crane, "Boston Legal" - ABC
T.R. Knight as George O'Malley, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC (By the way, apparently The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has never heard of IMDB as they listed T.R. Knight's character simply as George. He has a last name, people. Isaiah Washington would go postal on your ass if you forgot his character's last name.)
Masi Oka as Hiro Nakamura, "Heroes" - NBC
Michael Emerson as Ben Linus, "Lost" - ABC (Again, had to add the last name. Maybe The Academy should buy a TV. Or perhaps I should get a life. Either/or.)
Terry O'Quinn as John Locke, "Lost" - ABC
Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Who I think will win: Wow! Big category. Six nominees instead of five. Michael Imperioli. People like him for some reason. I don't watch "The Sopranos", so I have no idea why. If not him, Masi Oka. People are obsessed with "Heroes" so I think he has a fighting chance. I'm waiting for the first season to come out on DVD so I can find out what the big deal is.
Who I want to win: Like there is even a moment of hesitation for me to say Michael Emerson. He is the creepiest MoFo on television as "Others" leader Ben Linus - so scary he sneaks into my dreams at night to haunt me. I'd be delighted for either him or Terry O'Quinn to win. I still think O'Quinn was robbed when he didn't win the Oscar for playing Kate's father in The Cutting Edge. The bastards! I would be so disappointed if the winner is...get ready to gasp, ladies and gays... T.R. Knight. Not only has "Grey's" lost its spark, but George's flame has dwindled, as well.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series:
Jaime Pressly as Joy Turner, "My Name is Earl" - NBC
Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesly, "The Office" - NBC
Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS
Conchata Ferrell as Berta, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS (According to IMDB, Berta has no last name. I guess that's what happens when you play the maid.)
Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater, "Ugly Betty" - ABC
Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes, "Weeds" - Showtime
Who I think will win: I gotta go with Joy. "Earl" stands alone as a funny show but when I hear that raspy laugh, I can't help but double over and knee-slap simultaneously. Joy stands true to her name by bringing me happiness every Thursday night at 8/7 central. So help me if Vanessa Williams wins. Remember that hair at The Golden Globes? She should be committed after that shit.
Who I want to win: Obviously, Joy. Sorry, Pam. We've had some good laughs and I think you're great and all, but the awkward moments between you and Jim prove too much for me sometimes and I blush with embarrassment at horrid memories that arise. And I'd absolutely love for Elizabeth Perkins to win because she really has the funniest role on "Weeds"... But I just don't know if that's going to happen. For those of you wondering who the F Holland Taylor is, my generation will remember her as Dean McMann from "Saved by the Bell: The College Years". Cause I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow, TODAY! Today, today, today...
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series:
Rachel Griffiths as Sarah Whedon, "Brothers & Sisters" - ABC
Katherine Heigl as Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
Aida Turturro as Janice Soprano, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Lorraine Bracco as Dr. Jennifer Melfi, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Who I think will win: Another six nominee category. I don't know, one of the "Grey's" bitches. Take your pick.
Who I want to win: Lorraine Bracco. Not because I know what her character is like, but because I like her in Goodfellas and I saw her in The Container Store once and she seemed like a cool bitch. I like Chandra Wilson all right, so I'm ok with her, too. I'm really sad Chloe Sevigny was not nominated for "Big Love" because she really is fantastic as Nicki, the shopaholic Polygamist.
And finally, the biggest awards of the night...
Outstanding Comedy Series:
"Entourage" - HBO
"The Office" - NBC
"30 Rock" - NBC
"Two and a Half Men" - CBS
"Ugly Betty" - ABC
Who I think will win: Hijo de puta! F-ing "Ugly Betty". Something about this show makes me want to run in horror and never look back. Ever.
Who I want to win: I mean, obviously "The Office". Those who have never worked in an office environment cannot appreciate the humor and politics of this show. I wish I could have inherited a large sum of money from a very distant great aunt and never have worked in an office either. But I have, so I laugh. "30 Rock" started out rocky, excuse the pun. But it has turned out to be a laugh-out-loud comedy and I would be happy for Tina Fey to take home this trophy, as well.
Outstanding Drama Series:
"Boston Legal" - ABC
"Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
"Heroes" - NBC
"House" - FOX
"The Sopranos" - HBO
Who I think will win: "Heroes" or "The Sopranos", but I can't judge those two.
Who I want to win: Can I say none of these? Where is "Lost"? "Rescue Me"? I guess "Heroes" because I have a slight inclination that I'm going to like it. Damn.
Whew! That just took me forever, so enjoy it. And I know it's going to come back and bite me on the ass when you people remind me of my wrong predictions when The Emmys air live on FOX September 16 at 8/7c. But I'm all excited about the Second Annual Pop Guru Emmy Fashion Awards I will be giving out after the event! Can't wait! Have a good weekend!