What Will YOU Do When the Shows Run Out?

As the WGA Strike continues, I'm beginning to wonder: What will Americans do to fill the time they usually spend in front of their televisions watching regularly scheduled programming? Take up knitting? Catch up on old episodes of "7th Heaven"? Finally learn to ride a unicycle?

We are nowhere near the end of the strike and reruns are upon us. While I seriously support the writers and their efforts, what is a pop culture junkie to do when the new episodes run out? My body is going to be so confused. Is it summer? Why am I seeing repeats of my favorite scripted dramas and comedies? Usually as I sit and wait patiently for 8pm to roll around, I watch rerun after rerun of "I Love New York 2". And I do, I really, really do love New York, which causes my parents so much shame. But I can only handle so much lip-smacking and inappropriate noises from New York aka Tiffany Pollard before I gleefully change the channel because a new episode of "The Office" or "How I Met Your Mother" is coming on.

Now do I have nothing to look forward to but a new episode of "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila"? The thought of having to consume more and more ridiculous antics of bisexuals competing for the love of a cocktail makes me nauseous. But this is what we will be reduced to, people. The only thing that will be left for us, my fellow Americans, is reality shows. It used to be that the thirty minutes of "My Name is Earl" was such a sweet release from the constant shoving of "reality" down our throats. Now all we have is reality? Someone please help us!

Producers, studios, major media powerhouses, I am begging of you on bended knee: Give the writers what they want! What is a couple of extra cents to you? You will still be living the posh life while the writers wait years for the residual checks from iTunes to actually hit their bank accounts. I am pleading with you for the millions of American men and women who so cherish those 23 precious new episodes a year. Don't make the little people suffer. I don't care what it takes, just make the deal already! Save the writers... Save the world!

Hello again!

After a very exhausting weekend, I'm back to Blogger mode! It's going to be a very busy week, but I'll do my best to get you celebrity news as much as possible.

- I'm going to the Tribeca Film Festival this week, because I'm awesome like that. Just like every other New Yorker. But for those of you who can't make it to the Big Apple, you can watch five of the short films showing at Tribeca here. I'm going to see Gardener of Eden starring Lukas Haas and directed by Kevin Connelly, aka E on "Entourage", Purple Violets with Selma Blair and directed by Edward Burns, and I'm also attending a panel called "FAME!: I'm Gonna Live Forever" about how people can be successful at being famous. The last one was too appropriate for me not to go. I'll let you know what the experience is like.

- Ellen Degeneres has thrown out her back and will be doing her shows from her hospital bed on set this week. My two favorites, Lindsay Lohan and Ryan Seacrest, will be stopping by during visiting hours.

- Debra Opri, the ex-lawyer for Larry Birkhead, will be teaming with Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff in her battle against hubby David Hasselhoff, aka Mitch Buchanan from "Baywatch". The former couple have basically told the world they hate each other, so this could get interesting.

- Damn it. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, or as I like to call her "that annoying bitch who cries too much on 'The View'", announced she is pregnant. Fan-freaking-tastic. Now we're going to have this forced on us for the next six months until she pops out the kid and takes her maternity leave.

- Speaking of "The View", the battle to replace Rosie has begun. And the top contender... Rosie! As in Roseanne Barr! This is so exciting! Although Roseanne claims she has yet to be approached, I'm begging ABC to make this happen. The other front-runners are Whoopi Goldberg, Connie Chung, Kathie Lee Gifford, and Joan Rivers, all of whom I don't think could be funny enough or stir up enough controversy to keep the dying show on the air. Connie Chung doesn't deserve the spot simply because of this terrible display from the last time someone pointed a camera at her...

- I don't how this is possible, but "Dirt" might be coming back for a second season.

- Looks like "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" is coming back May 24 after a three month hiatus. I really like this show, so I'm excited about this. Although I think it might be on life support.

- Poor New York was dumped by Tango and she's coming back for round two of "I Love New York", which means I am on the edge of my seat until the show comes back. She's having an open casting call if any of you are interested, which I'm sure you are.

- Britney Spears was pulled over for speeding on Friday night. She was slapped on the wrist with a warning and sent on her way. But I have a bigger bone to pick with the cue ball herself. I have to take back this outfit now that you wore it first. Thanks a lot, Brit.

Photo: Flynet

I shall miss you New York

So, I finally watched Borat last night. As much as I wanted to hate it, I have to say it was pretty darn funny. Don't expect me to be saying "Wa-wa-wee-wa" anytime soon though.

- The "I Love New York" finale was last night. I was shocked when New York picked Tango "to be her rock", and even more shocked when he gave her a real rock. I really wanted her to pick Chance so they could do a reality show on their life together, but I guess they'll just be doing a wedding planning show with her and Tango. I feel I should shed a tear for the end of this show, but only two more weeks until Monique's Charm School!! Don't judge me.

- Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's divorce was finalized last week. The media reports that she was going to the hospital for a toothache were false. She was really going to a lawyer's office next door to the hospital. FedEx only got $1 million in the settlement. How will he ever survive off that?

- Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, finally had her baby girl last night. The baby has not been named and will only be referred to as "Baby Brown" for now. A paternity test will be taken in the future to determine whether the baby daddy is Eddie Murphy or not. Maury Povich is standing by with his manila envelopehttp://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif ready to go.

- I got some good laughs out of Alanis Morissette's cover of "My Humps" this morning. Maybe you will enjoy it, too.

- Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez, producer of her new movie Grindhouse supposedly got it on during filming and may still be together after breaking up his marriage.

- There may be a convention for "The Office" in Scranton, PA next November. There will be screenings of old episodes and appearances by some of the cast members. Maybe this will finally be my "chance" meeting with John Krasinski.

- Speaking of "The Office", Ricky Gervais has decided to end his HBO show "Extras" with a star-studded Christmas special. He did the same with the original British version of "The Office". Madonna will supposedly make an appearance in the final episode.

- Bob Barker is retiring soon from "The Price is Right" and his replacement might be George Hamilton. From one super-tanned old perv to the next.

- Donald Trump kept his hair Sunday night. Damn!

- Scarlett Johansson's movie "Nanny Diaries" has been pushed back from its original release date in April until September to better their chances for award season. Um... Whatever you say. Usually when a movie gets pushed back, this means it's crap and they have to go back and reshoot. Only time will tell.

- Remember cute little Andy Keaton from "Family Ties"? Yeah... He's not so cute anymore. Former child actor Brian Bonsall, now 25, was arrested this weekend for throwing alcohol on his girlfriend while she slept, putting her in a choke hold, and then throwing her on the bed.