Pictures Galore!

It's kind of a slow news day in the celebrity world... Well, except Britney Spears running a red light with her children and a court-appointed monitor in the car. Somebody just commit her already!

Since I'm a member over at WireImage now, I get to scour through lots of pictures of celebrities attending premieres, parties, galas, and the occasional paparrazi stakeout on the street. I feel like sharing the wealth today so several posts are to follow of pictures of glamourous celebs attending glamorous events.

First up...

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at the premiere of Lions for Lambs (which is getting shiteaous reviews) - Is he trying to force her to be so much like him that he made her get his exact same haircut? Ease up, Tom.

Photo: WireImage

TV News and Scientology Weirdos

So happy it's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

- We can finally find out what will become of Tommy amongst the flames. "Rescue Me" is officially back with a vengeance on June 12. Woohoo!! Showing up at the fire house this season is Jennifer Esposito, who filed for divorce this week from Bradley Cooper (Wet Hot American Summer). Also back on F/X, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". Sounds like a warm and fuzzy show, doesn't it? Well, you couldn't be more fooled by the title. This show has been deemed "'Seinfeld' on crack", and that's exactly what it is. In one show, brother and sister actually decide to try out crack and end up on welfare. No, this isn't a drama. It's a comedy, and it's absolutely hysterical. And totally offensive, so I don't recommend it for the sensitive.

- Matthew Modine will be showing up in Agrestic to stir up some trouble on "Weeds" this summer.

- It saddens me to tell you this, but Stars Hollow will be throwing a farewell party on May 15. The drama of will-they-or-won't-they-renew has finally been answered. "Gilmore Girls" will be finito after this season. For all two of you who watch this show besides me, tune in to the series finale to find out what happens to Luke and Lorelai and if Rory will accept Logan's proposal.

- More TV news... For those of you who are waiting for the DVD to join the nation's latest obsession, "Heroes" will be released on DVD August 28.

- Liv Tyler is going to be playing Betty Ross in the upcoming Hulk movie. Playing The Hulk... Edward Norton.

- Britney Spears performed again last night...for a mere eleven minutes. Well worth the $300 some people paid. La Lohan made an appearance to see Brit mouth the words to her famous songs.

- Kate Walsh, aka Addison on "Grey's Anatomy, is dating Alex Young, a hot shot at 20th Century Fox.

- The battle for Ireland begins today, but Alec Baldwin won't be making it to court.

- "I can see how people wouldn't see this, but when you look at Kate now [compared to] when she first met Tom, she's more confident and more knowing who she is than ever before. You can see it in her pictures. She looks more beautiful and more confident and more assured. I've watched that metamorphosis – how Kate has blossomed into this woman. Because her life changed very quickly, she moved from one person into another." - Jada Pinkett Smith spoke to People about "Kate Cruise" and how she "ain't no little wimpy kitty cat". When I see Katie in pictures, I don't think strong, confident woman. I think she looks sedated. This interview has a rancid, and kind of ghetto, odor of bullshit. Also weighing in on the issue, Leah Remini. She says, "I really don't get it. They're married, they love each other and have a beautiful baby. They do 'weird' things like take care of their kid and go to baseball games." Well, I would believe you, Leah. But seeing as you are a Scientologist and believe that aliens live inside of us, it's a little hard for me to just take your word for it, girl.

Happy Birthday, Suri!

Photo: Vanity Fair

It has been one year since the birth of Suri Cruise (or if you believe the rumors, almost two years). No birthday party plans have been revealed yet. The world's youngest celebutante is sure to have a fabulous affair, most likely in Shreveport, LA, where mother Katie Holmes is currently filming her first movie since she signed her life away/met Tom Cruise. It is called Mad Money and costars Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah. Well, Happy Birthday, Suri! Don't choke on your silver spoon.

- Why even get out of bed in the morning? Without Lindsay Lohan by your side, that is. The egomaniac tells Allure, "When my friends and family are around me I feel like they're safe . . . When my friends have left me - I've just seen everything collapse. They're not safe without me." If you are such a great protector, then what does everyone do while you party all night, go to rehab, and basically only focus on one thing... Lindsay. Newsflash... The world doesn't revolve around you.

- Richard Gere is on fire in India. The people of India are outraged after he dipped Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty and kissed her on the hand and cheek. Public displays of affection are not welcomed in India and his actions have been considered extremely offensive. People have been burning photos of Gere in protest.

- Paris Hilton goes to court on May 4 for her driving violations.

- Isaiah Washington, aka Dr. Burke on "Grey's Anatomy", will play a sexually abused Catholic priest in an upcoming movie, The Least of These.

- Adam McKay, father of nasty landlord Pearl, had an interview with People regarding the hilarious video that has been all over the place recently.

- Kristin Cavallari is selling herself for cash. The reality star has been pushing herself on clubs in LA. They pay her for appearances, hoping to bring in more customers. Now she is peddling her 21st birthday party. I guess you have to make the rent somehow.

- Don't ever wear this again...



Photo: NEILL J. SCHUTZER/ Ramey

Kids, kids, and more kids...

Hello all! I hope you've been enjoying the freakish weather. 70 degrees and beautiful one day, and snowstorm the next. I think we need to consult Al Gore on when the Apocalypse will be coming.

- Speaking of the Apocalypse, hell is slowly freezing over as Tori Spelling and her mom Candy have decided to reconcile their differences now that Tori has had her baby. Tori and Dean McDermott welcomed a baby boy named Liam Aaron McDermott, after her late father Aaron Spelling. The family was in awe and shock looking at the baby because they couldn't even remember what a real nose looked like. Don't worry, little one. You'll soon have a new nose, and all your family members will stop pointing and laughing.

- I feel like this blog is one big birth announcement website. Abstinence might not be a bad thing, Hollywood. Salma Hayek is preggers and engaged to businessman Francois-henri Pinault, the CEO of PPR, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent. Congrats on all the cool clothes you're getting from this, but I wish you would go back to Edward Norton. And then give me all your old cool clothes.

- Angelina Jolie adopted a Vietnamese child and named him Pax Thien Jolie. Some say the child may even be back in New Orleans with her family this weekend. Angelina adopted him as a single parent because she and Brad Pitt are not married. He will be able to make it official later on, as he did with Maddox and Zahara.

- Johnny Depp's daughter Lily-Rose has finally been released from the hospital and is doing much better after being in the hospital since late February for blood poisoning.

- Maggie Gyllenhaal might be taking Katie Holmes' old spot in the upcoming Dark Night, the newest flick from the Batman Franchise. Out with the psycho zombie, in with the magnificent!

- Maggie's bro and my ex, Jake Gyllenhaal might be playing Captain Marvel in the upcoming Shazam! movie.

- Ellen Degeneres is very pleased after being nominated for twelve Daytime Emmy Awards. She's also being pressured into marriage, supposedly. Sources say Ellen and girlfriend Portia de Rossi may wed in June. Apparently, Portia is ready to make it official and told Ellen after The Oscars that she wanted a real commitment. So, they might marry in June on their ranch while Ellen is on hiatus and then have the summer as newlyweds until the show begins again in August. There are concerns that Anne Heche might show up during the wedding while looking for aliens that belong to her galactic tribe, so Ellen and Portia are working on getting a super tight security system for the event.

- Brit's got herself a new man. I've got high hopes for this relationship to work out since they met at an AA meeting. Jason Filyaw, 33, had already prodouced one of her albums, but then they reconnected at rehab. He says, "I love her. I support her 100% and we are close." We'll have to wait and see what happens with this one...

- In other rehab news, my fav designer Marc Jacobs entered rehab this week. He claims to have relapsed after seven years sober and he is trying to fix the problem as quickly as possible. Good luck, Marc! I think I have an idea that might help you. You know what always makes me feel better when I'm down? Free stuff! Why don't you try it, Marc? Send me a new handbag, preferably the new Stam Quilted Bag in black, and you will instantly feel so much better about yourself! Trust me. It works.

- Eva Longoria (who turned 32 today) says she wants friend Kenny Chesney to play at her wedding. Eva, if you have Kenny play his god awful country music at your wedding, I will not come as a protest to such a dumbass choice. But if you don't let him play... Well, I still won't come because I was never even invited in the first place. Thanks a lot, Eva.

-At The Clothes of Our Back Event last night, Carmen Electra thought she looked damn good...until she got to the end of the catwalk and BUSTED! That might get a couple chuckles, but there's more to come. Alison Sweeney, better known as Sami from "Days of Our Lives", comes rushing to her aid from backstage... and BUSTS it herself! How embarrassing! C'mon, Alison. You should have known better. Sami never would have done that. She would have greased the runway to force Carmen to fall, watch the fall while leering in the dark on the side of the stage, then leave and talk to herself in another room about her next plot for that evil Carmen bitch that stole Austin from her. I think I see a new storyline developing for DOOL. But copy and paste the link below into your browser to see the original catastrophe.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid285859616/bclid294430730/bctid649589151

Enjoy!! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

- Killa