Britney Spears' Tragic Family Secrets

We have been duped. Britney Spears promised us she wouldn't swipe her V-card until she got married, only to reveal she had already slept with Justin Timberlake. Now Us Weekly is revealing that Britney actually did the deed with her first love, Reg Jones, when she was only 14.

Us is also unveiling a terrible secret family history of the Spears family. Her paternal grandmother, Emma Jean Spears, committed suicide at the age of 31. She had given birth to a boy eight years earlier who passed away after only three days and took her life by shooting herself in the chest on his grave. Emma Jean had attempted suicide three times before this. She left behind four children, including Britney's dad, Jamie Spears, and two other boys that ended up homeless with criminal records. All this and more in the new issue that hits newsstands Wednesday.

- Awww, isn't Nicole Richie just the sweetest? She's donating all of her baby gifts to 100 needy families.

- Simon Cowell revealed that he has had Botox. Thank you for letting us know, Captain Obvious.

- Mary-Kate Olsen was hospitalized with a kidney infection on Monday. Not that I'm jumping to any conclusions, but do you know what can cause a kidney infection? A little too much lovin', that's what.

- The Red Hot Chili Peppers filed a lawsuit against Showtime on Monday for violating a federal trademark law. The band's 1999 album "Californication" was "the signature CD, video and song of the band's career. For some TV show to come along and steal our identity is not right." The lawsuit calls for Showtime to stop using the name as the title of their show starring David Duchovny and give the band any profits made on the show.

- Bill Nye "The Science Guy" has filed a restraining order against his wife, who he claims tried to poison him. Wait a minute... I haven't seen ol' Bill Nye for years, and all of the sudden he turns up on "America's Most Smartest Model" and someone tried to kill him? What a comeback! Meet the new Brad Pitt, ladies and gents.

- The inquest into the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son, Daniel, finally began on Monday. Daniel died in a Bahamas hospital three days after his mom gave birth to sister Dannielynn on September 10, 2006.

- "The Bachelor" Brad Womack is still very much a bachelor...

- What did you think of the "Weeds" season finale? I don't know what to think! I don't want to reveal too much for those who DVRed it, but I was a bit perplexed by the ending. Hence the term "cliffhanger." Will Nancy and Conrad ever end up happily ever after? Maybe in Pittsburgh? I guess we will have to wait until next year to find out!

Photo: Us Weekly

2007 Cannes Film Festival

Thought you all might be interested in seeing some of the pictures from the Cannes Film Festival. There are lots, lots more, but these are the ones I thought you might like to see. All photos courtesy of Wireimage.com, unless otherwise noted. Sorry about the watermarks on the pics. Send me money to join if you'd like your pics without them!


This is the first time in like four years that Angelina Jolie has worn a color other than black. It is an extremely nice change of pace and I hope she keeps it up!


Closeup of Brangelina


The supposed sex partners during filming of Ocean's Thirteen, Ellen Barkin and George Clooney


George again


Quentin Tarantino and the scariest man in Hollywood, Harvey Weinstein


Jude Law at the premiere of My Blueberry Nights


Jude and Norah Jones, who has her first acting gig in My Blueberry Nights


Kerry Washington


Holy crap! Look how short this guy is! That is Brett Ratner with Kimora Lee Simmons (or maybe just Kimora Lee now that she and Russell Simmons are separated). I'll admit I just put this up so you could see how short he is. From the way he gets girls to obsess about him (Lindsay Lohan), I just pictured him to be this huge dude. I have been proven wrong on that assumption.


The always lovely Eva Mendes


Julianne Moore


I put this one up for the Adrian Grenier obsessors


I have no idea why Jessica Simpson is at Cannes. She has as much right to be there as I do.


Jerry Seinfeld dressed as a bee to promote his new Bee Movie


Jake Gyllenhaal and Chloe Sevigny at the premiere of Zodiac


When the hell did Tilda Swinton turn into Miranda from "Sex and the City"?


I couldn't resist. The last film Anna Nicole Smith ever made debuted at Cannes this year. Looks like a winner!

And the best one of all...



Mischa Barton smoking her "hand-rolled cigarettes" on a yacht during the festivities

AHHH!!

Photo: WireImage
- Now there's an image I thought I would never see! Liberal basher Ann Coulter and "Good Times" star Jimmie "JJ" Walker showed up together to the TV Land Awards this weekend. Thankfully, the two are not dating.

- Larry Birkhead was seen partying "in between court sessions" and he was "having the time of his life". Hmmmm... If I had just fought an extremely public battle to win custody of my daughter, I think I might be spending time with my child after my victory. But that's just me.

- Apparently the Hogans might be breaking up?? I think he might be mad since she put a red sock in with all of his yellow leotards.

- It has been reported that Vanessa Minnillo is having a bad hair day and wants to hire Jessica Simpson's stylist/best friend/mannequin, Ken Paves. I don't buy this and neither should you.

- Rachel Weisz has dropped out of The Mummy 3 due to scheduling conflicts. I know this movie will probably make a lot of money, but she just gained so much more respect from me.

- Anna Nicole Smith's diaries failed to sell at an auction this weekend. Shocker.

Queen Killa

Photo by: Tim Graham / Getty; Tim Ockenden / AP
- Prince William and Kate Middleton (who looks just like Lauren Conrad from "The Hills") have split, making room for me to become the future Queen of England.

- Shia LaBeouf, currently in Disturbia and the world's next biggest star, has signed on to play the role of Indiana Jones' son in the upcoming movie.

- Willa Ford will be starring as Anna Nicole Smith in the movie about her life. In a desperate attempt to become her character (and get some attention), she purchased an exact replica of Anna Nicole's pink bed designed by stereotype Bobby Trendy. Trendy will make a cameo in the movie as himself. This sounds like it will be the finest piece of cinema ever made.

- If you gag easily, do not read this story. Us Weekly reports that Paris Hilton and new man candy Josh Henderson of "Desperate Housewives" participated in a "makeout off" Tuesday night at LA club Area. When Paris saw her ex makeout partner Travis Barker snuggling with his rekindled flame Shanna Moakler, both couples engaged in a contest of disgusting PDAs "as if they were trying to one up each other". They are now in search of a sponsor for the contest and are hoping to make it an Olympic event. I'll let you know when tryouts are announced.

- Looking for some uplifting tunes? My new obsession is Mika's album "Life in Cartoon Motion". I highly suggest downloading it. You might recognize the song "Love Today" as the promo song on some of MTV's commercials for their Monday night lineup.

- Quote of the week: "And, like, I saw these magazines, and they said I was pregnant, and like it’s so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like you’re smart and I’m stupid. Like for real. C’mon y’all.” - Britney Spears

"I Told You So"

That's what Larry Birkhead had to say when he approached the podium today at the press conference. Birkhead is the father, but he does not have legal custody of Dannielynn...for now. Dannielynn will have to stay in the Bahamas until the custody trial is over. Howard K. Stern says, "I am obviously very disappointed ... I am not going to fight Larry Birkhead for custody." He also said, "I will do everything I can to make sure he [Birkhead] gets sole custody."

Virgie Arthur did not state at the news conference today that she will fight Birkhead for custody, but she did say she "looks forward to working" with him regarding the future for Dannielynn. If she does fight for custody, she doesn't have a very good chance. Anna Nicole did not even speak to her mother. Also, in 1993, Donald Ray Hart Jr., Arthur's son, kidnapped a handicapped woman along with three other friends. They threatened her with a butcher knife and discussed how to kill her. Fortunately, they were caught before they could go through with their plans and the woman was rescued. Hart was sentenced to six years in jail for the crime.

As for Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, the husband to Zsa Zsa Gabor who also claimed to be Dannielynn's father, his reps released a statement to TMZ regarding the paternity. They said, "We never intended to take Dannielynn from anyone, we were just here in case Prince Von Anhalt was the father. We wish Larry luck in raising Dannielynn and we wish him the best."

There is a hearing on Friday, but all involved were mum as to what it is about. I'll keep you posted!

Thanks to perezhilton.com for the picture.

Larry Birkhead is Dannielynn's Father

Larry Birkhead has confirmed that he is the father of Dannielynn Hope after the results were revealed in court today. Howard K. Stern said previously that he will not fight Birkhead for custody, but Anna Nicole Smith's mother, Virgie Arthur, plans to battle Birkhead for little Dannielynn.

I'll let you know what other information I can find out.

Sir Bono, Posh, and TV news

Did anyone watch "Lost" last night? I don't like episodes about the new survivors. Or anything that makes me think a spider is crawling on me all night. Or that I will be buried alive.

- Bono was knighted today, but he would prefer it if we didn't call him "sir". I'll try to remember that next time I'm hanging out with him.

- Bruce Willis was supposedly seen "full-on making out" with Courtney Love at his 52nd birthday party. Vom.

- Sources are now speculating that caffeine killed Anna Nicole Smith. I guess I need to switch to decaf. "What?! Why you son of a bitch! You told me this was regular coffee!" A select few of you will get that reference.

- Us Weekly posted a letter on their website pleading with Victoria Beckham to start wearing bras when she moves to LA. Here is my letter: Dear Posh, Please go to In-and-Out Burger as soon as you land at LAX. Love, Killa

- "Top Chef" host Padma Lakshmi has supposedly split from her author husband Salman Rushdie. She claims he was totally harshing her buzz.

- Britney Spears went to the hospital because her tooth was hurting. Today she has a headache and CNN devoted a half-hour to the story.

- To promote The Simpsons movie this summer, select 7-Eleven stores might be turned into Kwik-E-Marts. People will also be able to buy Buzz Cola and iced Squishees. There is no sarcasm involved in this post.

- "Rescue Me" will begin its fourth season in June. I'm absolutely ecstatic for more opportunities to see my Hispanic boyfriend Franco!!

- It was reported that "Diff'rent Strokes" actor Todd Bridges was dead. He responded with, "What you talkin' bout, TMZ?"

- "Laguna Beach" = DUIs. The newest cast member to get arrested is Jessica Smith, who you may remember as the most annoying person in existence. She was released today and charged with a DUI and causing "great bodily injury" in a car wreck.

- Seeing how much press Britney Spears has received lately, Donald Trump might shave his head. Hallelujah.

- There is a marathon of "The Office" tonight on NBC. So that's two hours of Jim Halpert. Awesome!

- Has anyone been watching "'Til Death Do Us Part?", the new Court TV show hosted by John Waters? He is the narrator that takes us through a new story of spousal murder each episode. It is my new favorite murder show. Perhaps maybe I should start watching "American Idol"...

Online shopping, Laguna Beach, O.J., and much more...

Hola! Sorry for my absence. Here is an update on what's happened in the last week...

- That horrendous looking movie Wild Hogs beat out my boo's Zodiac this weekend at the box office.

- However, we have broken up as I have just heard that Jake Gyllenhaal is dating his costar, Reese Witherspoon, from the movie they are currently filming, Rendition. Although, I don't really believe it and I will definitely take him back when he comes crawling back to me to apologize.

- I'm excited because I just found out that Hot Fuzz is coming out in limited release on April 20. It is the second movie from the Brits that made Shaun of the Dead, one of the funniest movies I have seen in years. Definitely put that one on your Netflix Queue.

- Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson have come out as a couple and have been seen making out all over the place. Shocking since we didn't know you were shacking it up months ago.

- Britney Spears is struggling in rehab and her family is worried she will skip out early on her treatment. She has been buying thousands of dollars worth of clothes online, replacing an old addiction with a costly new one. I can't imagine how awful this time must be for her. Massages, shopping, publicity, all the cigarettes she wants...my heart aches for you, Britney.

- "Laguna Beach" star Jason Wahler has been sentenced to sixty days in jail after pleading no contest to a battery charge in LA. How will he ever cope without getting his hair highlighted for that long? What a shame.

- Naomi Campbell will be mopping the floors of New York's Sanitation Department after throwing a cell phone at her maid. In an ironic turn of events, the maid will be given a cell phone and allowed one free shot at Naomi as she mops.

- Heaven help us. Star Jones is getting her own TV show about criminal justice and popular culture. She also says she doesn't watch "The View" anymore, but prefers to read up on all the controversy in the tabloids. Duh. Who actually watches "The View"? It's called YouTube.

- In "I couldn't care less but some of you idiots might like to know this" news, Daniel Radcliffe has signed on for the last two films in the Harry Potter franchise.

- The freak show keeps getting weirder and weirder. O.J. Simpson might also be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, Dannielynn. They are still uncertain as to how Anna Nicole died, but I'm voting for Howard Stern in the parlor with a candlestick.

- Elizabeth Hurley has gotten married like sixteen times in four days. Congrats.

- Tori Spelling and her second husband Dean McDermott have just opened their new bed and breakfast, Chateau La Rue. It is named after their pug, Mimi La Rue. It is located in Fallbrook, CA, just 100 miles south of LA. I'm thinking road trip. Who's coming with me?

- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are adopting another kid, this time from Vietnam. When they get another one, they are planning on putting on little shows where the kids perform songs from the Jackson 5. But each one will sing in their native language. How cute.

That's all. Have a good week. I'll try to update more frequently if I can. Peace.

What is that terrible screeching sound?

Is it tires squealing? Nails on a chalkboard? No... It's just James Blunt singing "Beautiful", probably my most hated song ever (that awful "Had a Bad Day" song that is forever playing everywhere I go is a close second). But speaking of James Blunt, he was involved in a car accident last night leaving a pre-Oscar party. Apparently some man's foot got run over, but unfortunately, Blunt's vocal cords were not injured in the incident.

Here's what else has been happening:

- Amanda Peet of "Studio 60" and her husband David Benioff welcomed a baby girl, Frances Pen.

- Kevin Federline visited Britney Spears in rehab because he was so deeply concerned for her. Since then, K-Fed has shockingly been called "a good dude". And that excellent judge of character is.......Jason Alexander, Britney's first husband of 55 extremely romantic hours.

- Anna Nicole Smith might have been a lesbian. She also might have been a transsexual. She may have also believed Tupac is really dead, Tom and Katie consummated the marriage, and live episodes of "Will & Grace" were a good idea.

- DON'T FORGET!!!!!!!!!! The 79th Annual Academy Awards are tomorrow night at 8PM on ABC!! Get excited!! This is the second year in a row I have seen all five nominees for Best Picture, in order to form a well-educated opinion on who I believe should win. That, or because I have nothing else better to do.

So, here goes:

The five nominees for Best Picture are Little Miss Sunshine, The Departed, Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, and The Queen. I believe the winner should be.......... Letters from Iwo Jima. This was the only one I felt had a solid plotline, kept me engaged in the story from beginning to end, lots of action (not that that's necessary to win Best Picture), and got me to genuinely care about the well-being of the characters. I liked The Departed, and I would be just as happy if that won. Quite honestly, I wasn't blown away by any of the films this year. The Oscars have lost some of its credibility over the years - especially after Three 6 Mafia was allowed to take home an award last year.

Little Miss Sunshine is "the little movie that could", and I love it. But I do not think it deserves an Oscar at all. The Queen was excellent, but I felt like I could have seen the same actors (except Ms. Mirren) and cinematography in a made-for-TV movie or miniseries event. Babel was pretty good, except I was extremely disturbed by the frequent and extremely unnecessary crotch shots. The Japanese story line is not important to the plot and probably shouldn't have been in the movie at all, yet somehow Rinko Kikuchi got nominated. Whatever. I get the whole lives intertwining thing, like in Crash and 21 Grams, etc. I'm a little tired of it though, so please, don't let Babel win. Like I said, I wouldn't mind if either Letters or The Departed wins. I liked The Departed, and staring at Mark Wahlberg for those few precious moments of screen time he got was the best part of the movie. I thought it was a little confusing though and definitely not Scorsese's best (you can't beat Goodfellas), which is why my vote goes to Letters. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens tomorrow night.

Expect my reactions and fashion commentary at some point after the ceremony..... I'll try for Monday, but I can make no promises. I am looking forward to tomorrow night, except for the dreaded moment when The Donkey from Shrek wins a coveted Academy Award. Eddie Murphy, I never thought I would see the day that you would have an Oscar... and I would not. Touché, Norbit. Touché.

Britney in rehab...and out again

Britney Spears officially entered a Los Angeles rehab called Promises yesterday, as confirmed by her manager Larry Rudolph. But now, she's out again. Spears checked out of Promises today and tried to hit another tattoo parlor on her way home, but much to her dismay, it was closed. She must have been on one hell of a drinking binge to have done this twice in one week.

OK! Magazine is reporting that Kevin Federline threatened to have Britney's hair tested to see what she has been up to. He could possibly be testing the hair to see what kind of illegal drugs she has been using, as evidence in a custody battle. But Brit had the last laugh as she cut it all off to prevent her drug use being found out. Good move, Britney. However, I don't think jumping from rehab to rehab really helps your case any.

In other news...

- Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are supposedly expecting a baby. She was seen at Pastis this weekend "looking visibly pregnant". Sources say they plan to secretly marry in a similar fashion to Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams. Heath is Naomi's ex-boyfriend.

- Hania Barton, the 19-year-old sister of Mischa Barton, has entered rehab because of her addiction to prescription painkillers. Since Mischa's fifteen minutes have come and gone and I've never even heard of Hania, I'm not sure why this is news. But I thought I would pass it along anyway.

- There is a shortage of eye liner throughout America. Why? Because Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro are officially divorced, and he wants to impress you ladies.

- Lindsay Lohan has been seen partying with Steve-O of Jackass fame. I'm not sure that hanging out with a known drug addict right after you get out of rehab is the smartest move in the world, but I guess you've got to get your contact high somehow.

- Heather Mills (Paul McCartney's ex) will be appearing on Dancing with the Stars. Sad...does she need money that badly? She will be the show's first disabled performer (she lost her leg in a motorcycle accident). There are 11 other competitors, but the people I have heard of are: Ian Ziering, Vincent Pastore from The Sopranos, Leeza Gibbons, Joey Fatone of N'Sync, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Laila Ali, Muhammad's boxer daughter. The rest of the people are athletes or pageant queens, so naturally, I've never heard of them.

- Shit. Now I have to start hearing about this annoying ass couple all the time again. Trista and Ryan of The Bachelorette and the only couple that has lasted from that franchise are having a baby. Fantastic.

- Exes Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady are expecting a child together. The couple broke up in December, and Brady has been dating Giselle Bundchen ever since. Oooh...awkward.

- I have stopped paying attention to all the Anna Nicole Smith hoopla, but the judge says he will reach a decision on what to do with her body on Friday. I hope they have that thing in one hell of a freezer. Gross.

Peace out. Have a good day.